How to Stop Arguing With Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Step 1
The first and most important step is this: DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. This can cause more harm to your relationship, reputation, and children than if you kept your conversation private. Other people may not know the extent of your relationship or the circumstances and may take things the wrong way. So many things can go wrong when others enter the equation so make sure that you and your partner are alone when you feel an argument coming on.

Step 2
Gain control of the conversation. During heated moments, it's easy for voices to flair up which leads to two people yelling at each other and neither one getting their point across. As soon as you recognize this type of tension building in the conversation, you need to stop and regain control.

An easy way to do this is by saying things like:
"I don't want this to turn into a huge argument. You start by telling me your problems and I won't interrupt you. Then let me speak and let me finish without interruption"

By doing this, you have inserted reason into the equation and a logical conversation can ensue.

Step 3Recognize an end goal. There's no point in arguing when you don't even know what you're arguing about! Unfortunately, half of arguments between couples are in this situation. Your job is to approach your differences as team looking to accomplish a goal.

Once the conversation is in control, say something like:
"Obviously we're not seeing eye-to-eye. Let's just figure out a solution that works for both of us without this conversation getting out of hand."

Step 4Be willing to apologize! Even if you know you're right, sometimes it's best to sacrifice your pride for the benefit of maintaining the relationship. Particularly in an argument, if blame is being thrown back and forth then it's up to one of you to accept the fault and move on. I'm not suggesting this is easy but it's the best thing to do. By apologizing and accepting the blame (rather right or wrong), you immediately lower the defense of your partner and communication can progress.

Step 5If all else fails, step away from the situation take some time to think clearly. You can say the worst things and make the worst decisions of your life when your emotions are running high. If you are not able to gain control of the conversation, then inform your partner that you would like to walk away and continue the discussion after you gather your thoughts.

Be sure to communicate that you would like to continue the conversation at a later time but you just need time to think. You don't want to end up saying anything you regret so walk away before it's too late!

Step 6As you can see, it takes a bit of maturity to control a difficult conversations but if you want your relationship to work, you have to be willing to calmly resolve your issues and make the best decisions. Good luck and God bless!