How to get a good Relationship on Facebook
How to get a good Relationship
How to get a good Relationship
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
How to get a good Relationship
How to get a good Relationship
Steps
1. Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Ask yourself why you weren't happy? Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames others for their unhappiness. Your life is solely under your control, with your relationship you have to take the good with the bad. You need to give as well as take.
2. Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the differences between yourself, your parents and siblings. Don't expect they agree with you on everything. Reach a mutual agreement or plan, and then committo it. If you say you're going to Have Fun on an outing, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your family, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.
3. Develop and Use Good Communication Skills to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Many people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Fine, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having healthy relationship means that, while you have your experience, and your parents and siblings have his or her experience, you love and share and learn from those experiences. And if you can't reach any kind of mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you are wrong.
4. Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. A true relationship will consist of all family members who need to equally contribute. Not only is that the only type of relationship that will work out, but it will work out in everyone's favor.
5. Tell the unarguable truth. Be Honest Without Being Harsh, be truthful to yourself and your family. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their parents/siblings. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your family never finds out about it. For any sort of relationship to work you need to have trust.
6. Forgive one another. Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past. Let Go of Painful Memories and Live in the Moment focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment and anger. Respect your family, when your family members need space, do give him or her the time and space.
7. Review your expectations. Try to Say What You Mean Without Being Mean. Be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes.
8. Here's a new definition: Responsible means having the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you or your family are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your parents or siblings, own up to it and apologize. You'll be amazed how this works
9. Appreciate Yourself and your family. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your family that you love them, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.
10. Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your parents/siblings to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your parents/siblings to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your parents/siblings to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your parents/siblings to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your family.
11. Spend some Quality Time With Your Family. No matter how busy you are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Play a sport, eat at a restaurant, watch your favorite movies together. You will feel the magic of connection that you have with each other.
12. Laugh. Not only is it true that laughter is the best medicine, but it's also true that laughter can make a great relationship. In a tedious relationship, it is hard to communicate with your parents/siblings and share humorous feelings. Not only does laughing establish a connection, it can help keep the relationship in perspective. Just enjoy life and each other!
• Know yourself and be honest with yourself and love yourself -- first! Only then can you truly appreciate and love someone else.
• Take good care of yourself. Treating yourself with respect and love is as important as respecting and loving your partner. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you're very familiar with one another.
• All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately. Respect is the key. If you have true respect for one another, then nothing can go wrong. You just have to find the right person to respect, this is the hard part.
• Ask questions, clarify, don't assume. Do not talk if your mind is not clear or full of anger. When you feel hurt, do not say "you don't love me / you never loved me" or "let's break up" or "when do you want to break up?". You will regret one day. Tell him or her you feel hurt, and ask for clarification first.
• Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Be gentle and kind. Apologize if your partner feels hurt(but don't let them make you feel bad). Apology does not mean you are bad, it only means you care. When you are full of anger, it will surely burst out of your mouth if you open it. Calm down first, then think it through, then try to talk. When your partner asks to be left alone, do not blame or criticize. Show your respect and support by give him or her the time and space to calm down and think it through first. But do not leave any unsolved problem for too long.
• Be the first to tell your partner, either positive or negative. Trust is as essential as respect. If you want your partner to trust you, trust him or her first. Letting your partner play guessing games may lead to misunderstanding and frustration. But, don't just tell him or her the issue, also talk about your plan to solve it.
• Strike while the iron is cold. Know when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
• Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
• Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust - build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicating truthfully and proactively, and always keep your words. In this way, if something happens which looks incriminating, your partner will believe you if you claim you are innocent. Past behavior predicts future actions - building a solid foundation of trust and integrity will take you far. However, ultimately your life and where it takes you is more important than your obligations to someone else. If there is trust in a relationship, you should be able to do what you want. You aren't responsible for making someone else jealous.
• Always make sure to show your partner that you appreciate him/her. Whether it's calling them to check in, say I love you, or just spend your Saturday night together. The possibilities are endless.
• Know when to say no, and know when time and space are actually constructive tools.
• It is not always a good idea to answer certain questions with absolute truth if they bring emotional harm. "Do you sometimes think about your ex?" and "do I look fat in these pants?" are both loaded questions. In a relationship, answer questions honestly, but with tact and grace. For example, "I think you have other pants that look better on you" is a helpful answer, instead of simply "they don't", or "they do make you look fat".
Steps
1. Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Ask yourself why you weren't happy? Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames others for their unhappiness. Your life is solely under your control, with your relationship you have to take the good with the bad. You need to give as well as take.
2. Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the differences between yourself, your parents and siblings. Don't expect they agree with you on everything. Reach a mutual agreement or plan, and then committo it. If you say you're going to Have Fun on an outing, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your family, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.
3. Develop and Use Good Communication Skills to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Many people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Fine, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having healthy relationship means that, while you have your experience, and your parents and siblings have his or her experience, you love and share and learn from those experiences. And if you can't reach any kind of mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you are wrong.
4. Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. A true relationship will consist of all family members who need to equally contribute. Not only is that the only type of relationship that will work out, but it will work out in everyone's favor.
5. Tell the unarguable truth. Be Honest Without Being Harsh, be truthful to yourself and your family. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their parents/siblings. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your family never finds out about it. For any sort of relationship to work you need to have trust.
6. Forgive one another. Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past. Let Go of Painful Memories and Live in the Moment focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment and anger. Respect your family, when your family members need space, do give him or her the time and space.
7. Review your expectations. Try to Say What You Mean Without Being Mean. Be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes.
8. Here's a new definition: Responsible means having the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you or your family are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your parents or siblings, own up to it and apologize. You'll be amazed how this works
9. Appreciate Yourself and your family. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your family that you love them, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.
10. Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your parents/siblings to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your parents/siblings to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your parents/siblings to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your parents/siblings to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your family.
11. Spend some Quality Time With Your Family. No matter how busy you are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Play a sport, eat at a restaurant, watch your favorite movies together. You will feel the magic of connection that you have with each other.
12. Laugh. Not only is it true that laughter is the best medicine, but it's also true that laughter can make a great relationship. In a tedious relationship, it is hard to communicate with your parents/siblings and share humorous feelings. Not only does laughing establish a connection, it can help keep the relationship in perspective. Just enjoy life and each other!
• Know yourself and be honest with yourself and love yourself -- first! Only then can you truly appreciate and love someone else.
• Take good care of yourself. Treating yourself with respect and love is as important as respecting and loving your partner. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you're very familiar with one another.
• All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately. Respect is the key. If you have true respect for one another, then nothing can go wrong. You just have to find the right person to respect, this is the hard part.
• Ask questions, clarify, don't assume. Do not talk if your mind is not clear or full of anger. When you feel hurt, do not say "you don't love me / you never loved me" or "let's break up" or "when do you want to break up?". You will regret one day. Tell him or her you feel hurt, and ask for clarification first.
• Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Be gentle and kind. Apologize if your partner feels hurt(but don't let them make you feel bad). Apology does not mean you are bad, it only means you care. When you are full of anger, it will surely burst out of your mouth if you open it. Calm down first, then think it through, then try to talk. When your partner asks to be left alone, do not blame or criticize. Show your respect and support by give him or her the time and space to calm down and think it through first. But do not leave any unsolved problem for too long.
• Be the first to tell your partner, either positive or negative. Trust is as essential as respect. If you want your partner to trust you, trust him or her first. Letting your partner play guessing games may lead to misunderstanding and frustration. But, don't just tell him or her the issue, also talk about your plan to solve it.
• Strike while the iron is cold. Know when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
• Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
• Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust - build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicating truthfully and proactively, and always keep your words. In this way, if something happens which looks incriminating, your partner will believe you if you claim you are innocent. Past behavior predicts future actions - building a solid foundation of trust and integrity will take you far. However, ultimately your life and where it takes you is more important than your obligations to someone else. If there is trust in a relationship, you should be able to do what you want. You aren't responsible for making someone else jealous.
• Always make sure to show your partner that you appreciate him/her. Whether it's calling them to check in, say I love you, or just spend your Saturday night together. The possibilities are endless.
• Know when to say no, and know when time and space are actually constructive tools.
• It is not always a good idea to answer certain questions with absolute truth if they bring emotional harm. "Do you sometimes think about your ex?" and "do I look fat in these pants?" are both loaded questions. In a relationship, answer questions honestly, but with tact and grace. For example, "I think you have other pants that look better on you" is a helpful answer, instead of simply "they don't", or "they do make you look fat".
How to Start a Relationship
How to Start a Relationship
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
2. Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
3. Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
4. Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
5. Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
6. Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
7. Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
[edit] Warnings
• Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
• If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
• To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
2. Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
3. Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
4. Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
5. Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
6. Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
7. Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
[edit] Warnings
• Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
• If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
• To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
How to Identify if You Are in an Abusive Relationship
How to Identify if You Are in an Abusive Relationship
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
People in abusive relationships are at risk, and if they have children, are putting the children in harm's way. If you sometimes wonder if you are in an abusive relationship, read on, for your own sake (and that of any kids involved).
Steps
- Know the warning signs:
- Blames you for his / her anger.
- There is a difference between a person having an occasional bad day, and a person consistently blaming someone else for their problems.
- Attempts to always find someone else responsible when things go wrong, or referring to him/herself as a "victim of circumstance" should raise a red flag.
- There is a difference between a person having an occasional bad day, and a person consistently blaming someone else for their problems.
- Serious drug or alcohol use or other addiction.
- Is your partner addicted to drugs, alcohol, or being in control over things? Does s/he self-medicate to try to get away from problems? Does s/he try to avoid problems instead of dealing with them? If so, your partner could be trouble.
- Is your partner addicted to drugs, alcohol, or being in control over things? Does s/he self-medicate to try to get away from problems? Does s/he try to avoid problems instead of dealing with them? If so, your partner could be trouble.
- History of violent behavior.
- Threatens others regularly.
- Insults you or calls you names.
- Trouble controlling feelings like anger.
- Tells you what to wear, what to do or how to act. Tries frequently to keep you away from friends or family. Isolation is a form of brain-washing and manipulation. S/he is trying to keep you away from people who could help you, or who could influence your opinion of this relationship.
- Attempts to move/relocate the household frequently to "start over" (it's part of removing you from your support network - i.e., friends and family).
- Threatens or intimidates you in order to get what s/he wants.
- Throws away, accidentally breaks, or causes your favorite possessions to "disappear" when you have upset him/her.
- Tires you out and makes you doubt yourself. This usually comes in the form of escalating trivial arguments into full-blown mega-fights which last hours... and hours... and hours. (this is also an effective form of mind control)
- Accuses you of "making up" problems or relationship issues to have something to worry about.
- Says hurtful things, but later swears that he/she didn't and accuses you of "having memory problems".
- If you find yourself doing things because "s/he will be angry otherwise," or "because s/he will break up with me if I don't," then this person is controlling you in an unhealthy way. From there, it's a very short step to actual emotional and/or physical abuse. See How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship.
- Blames you for his / her anger.
- Be unsparingly objective. Do any of the above sound like your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/self? If so, then:
- Talk to someone that you can trust. A sibling, a parent, an aunt or uncle, or a friend whom you knew before you got involved with him/her are the best choices.
- Plan in advance to have a safe place to go. Your safe place should be 20-30 minutes drive time away. The further away it is, the less likely the person is to follow you and confront you. If your partner does not know of this place, it is far better for all concerned.
- Read How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship.
- Talk to someone that you can trust. A sibling, a parent, an aunt or uncle, or a friend whom you knew before you got involved with him/her are the best choices.
- Keep money and your cell phone or calling card with you at all times. However - and this is very important - once you are away, do not respond to texts or phone calls from your partner (now your ex). Answer the first one briefly and firmly: "It's over. Please don't call or text any more - I won't answer. I'm sorry it's ended this way, but I am finished with this relationship, and I won't be coming back. I wish you well, but this is goodbye."
- Avoid those who are/were close to the ex. They only know his/her side of the story, and may not understand why you left abruptly. Some will mean well, but some will openly side with him/her. Therefore, keep your business private. Decline to talk about your reasons, plans, current situation, etc., with anyone who may have contact with your ex.
- Once you have begun to think of leaving, begin to discreetly and quietly gather anything of importance to you. Don't wait until the moment that you make the big choice, but go ahead and locate your important papers, spare keys, bank information, and any other item you might not want to leave behind if you live together. You can always ask your safety person to keep them for you.
- When you make the decision to go, do it. Don't talk about it, or threaten to do it. Just get your keys, purse, bag, etc., and get in your car or go and call for a ride to pick you up. If you can leave while the abusive person is away from home, all the better.
- Avoid those who are/were close to the ex. They only know his/her side of the story, and may not understand why you left abruptly. Some will mean well, but some will openly side with him/her. Therefore, keep your business private. Decline to talk about your reasons, plans, current situation, etc., with anyone who may have contact with your ex.
- Establish a code word or sign so family, friends and co-workers know when to call for help. You could say "I'm meeting with Mr. Reddy." Mr. Reddy stands for "red alert" or "something is really wrong."
Video
Related wikiHows
- How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship
- How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship
- How to Deal with Emotional Abuse
- How to Emotionally and Physically Protect Yourself
Sources and Citations
Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Identify if You Are in an Abusive Relationship. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.
How to Start a Relationship
How to Start a Relationship
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Having trouble finding a boyfriend or girlfriend who is just right for you? Want to get closer to someone? Here are some steps to follow.
Steps
- Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
- Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
- Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
- Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
- Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
- Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
- Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
Warnings
- Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
- If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
- To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
- Don't make out with him/her unless they are single.
Related wikiHows
- How to Get to Know Girls in Your School
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship
- How to Bring Love Into a Relationship
- How to Have a Long Term Relationship
- How to End a Relationship
- How to Avoid Student Teacher Relationships
Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Start a Relationship. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)