How to Have Satisfying and Fulfilling Relationships

Understanding what constitutes a healthy relationship can be confusing. The confusion can be further heightened by our needs, conscious & unconscious.

There is small literature obtainable that gives us a vision of how to generate healthy relationships.

A critical part in the ability to create healthy relationships is the nature of the relationship they are having with ourselves.

Lots of emphasis is placed on the notion that 'meeting the right person' will ultimately finish in a harmonious & fulfilling relationship. But some people often meet another in whom they have an interest only to find that the relationship fails after a short time. This can lead to demoralization & despair, leaving people wondering what went wrong with something that promised a lot at the beginning.

The physical manifestation of this relationship with self is realized (made actual) through how they handle personal boundaries.

The way in which an individual establishes & maintains their personal boundaries reveals a lot about their relationship with self. Weak personal boundaries are an indication of a person's insecurities & these can often be carried forward in to relationships with others, sabotaging & undermining the relationships themselves.

The ability to define oneself underlies the capacity to set personal boundaries. Our personal boundaries originate in our awareness of who they are as individuals & the power they possess to live out our values & innate sense of integrity.

Without individual appropriate boundaries, the relationship with another can be corrupted through the meshing of needs, desires, challenges & goals. Getting your needs met in healthy & appropriate ways is the building blocks of a intimate & fulfilling relationship.

Healthy self-definition is reinforced through emotional nurturing. Emotional nurture is not a case of always being 'good' to yourself. it is a technique in correct self appraisal. Exactly knowing & understanding yourself leads to self acceptance which creates peace of mind & serenity. Honestly acknowledging all aspects of our own persona & character creates trust in ourselves. Self trust has a knock on effect in that they can then instinctively learn to trust others. Trusting that they can depend on them, that they won't betray us or hurt us. This trust lets us gently lower our defenses & generate significant & satisfying relationships.

Things like loss of trust in one's self can have disastrous consequences in attempts to hold boundaries. It means they are vulnerable to outside pressures & giving in to these pressures further reinforces our sense of mistrust. Mistrust in itself blocks appropriate vulnerability leading to the use of emotional distancing as a life strategy in trying to cope with feelings of threat. The issue with defenses of this nature is that not only do they keep the perceived enemy out they also keep us in.

So perception is everything in how they relate to ourselves & others. Changing ourselves through changing our perceptions inevitably leads to new experiences which is another way of saying that our life has changed.