Three Qualities of a Good Relationship
All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn’t be part of being in love. Loving relationships have good qualities, such as support from your partner, a willingness to communicate, a desire to compromise, and open an honest communication. When you do not have these fundamental qualities in a relationship, that relationship isn’t likely to grow, and become something that you desire.
We all turn to our loved ones for support from time to time. When your loved one does not offer you their support it may be time to look at your relationship. As we all want to nurture those that we love. We want the best in life for those that we care about. If your partner is unwilling to listen to you, and to your problems, they are not meeting your needs when you need support. Support can come in many forms, someone lending an ear, someone going out of their way to help you, or something as simple as a phone call to cheer you up. Make sure your partner gives you support when you need it.
When engaging in a relationship with another person there is always going to be things that you do not agree upon. You want to have the ability to compromise so both partners are getting their wishes met. This may mean one night you watch football, and one night your partner watches a movie you enjoy. It might mean that your partner can agree to try a dish that you enjoy cooking. In any organization with more than one person in it, there will be more than one opinion, work with your partner to see that both of you can compromise on different subjects. If someone isn’t willing to compromise, they are not willing to acknowledge your wants and desires. If they can not acknowledge your wants they are likely not emotionally developed enough for you to have your needs met.
Open and honest communication is one of the more desirable qualities you want to have in a relationship. Watch to see that your partner is not secretive, nor are they willing to tell lies to avoid certain subjects. For example, if a partner is married, and fails to tell you that, you can rightfully assume if they can lie about big things, they can lie about small things. While you may not like everything your partner may say, freedom to be honest should be there in your relationship. Likewise, you need to be open and honest with your partner; a relationship based upon false truths is not likely to be successful, because both partners do not have the correct frame of reference in the relationship.
There are many qualities that make relationships good support, compromise, and open and honest communication is just a few of these qualities that you may desire in a relationship. Engage only in relationships where both partners can openly discuss their wants and needs, this can take practice. Remember loving relationships grow and only become better, eliminate those who do not meet your needs when they continually fail to support you, will not compromise, and will not be honest. These three qualities alone will help you nurture and develop a deeper relationship with your partner.
GOOD RELATIONSHIP
What do couples who describe their relationship as spectacular do differently than those who describe theirs as simply so-so? The differences are quite small, actually.
"When we look at happy couples, we see that great partnerships are not the result of hours of hard work," says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. "It's small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship." In her new book, "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great," Orbuch shares the steps you can take to a spectacular relationship.
The Best Presents for Him, Her, and Everyone Else
The Real Reasons Men Cheat
#1. Understand Each Other's Needs
"The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or physical incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration -- the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts -- that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.
#2. Show Him Some Love
Men whose partners give them affirmation -- those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved -- are twice as likely to describe themselves as happy in their relationship. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your guy to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen -- which is why men rely on that attention from their mates. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.
#3. Take 10
A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything, except for responsibilities or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners.
And knowing your partner intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on the block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.
#4. Focus on the Good
The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction."
This doesn't mean that you can't feel -- or talk about -- anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your partnership into one that is truly great.
"When we look at happy couples, we see that great partnerships are not the result of hours of hard work," says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. "It's small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship." In her new book, "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great," Orbuch shares the steps you can take to a spectacular relationship.
The Best Presents for Him, Her, and Everyone Else
The Real Reasons Men Cheat
#1. Understand Each Other's Needs
"The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or physical incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration -- the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts -- that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.
#2. Show Him Some Love
Men whose partners give them affirmation -- those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved -- are twice as likely to describe themselves as happy in their relationship. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your guy to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen -- which is why men rely on that attention from their mates. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.
#3. Take 10
A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything, except for responsibilities or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners.
And knowing your partner intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on the block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.
#4. Focus on the Good
The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction."
This doesn't mean that you can't feel -- or talk about -- anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your partnership into one that is truly great.
How to Make a Relationship Work
How to Make a Relationship Work
Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.
Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other's point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don't want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner's innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.
Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.
Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.
Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.
Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.
Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.
Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically), resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don't involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.
Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.
Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.
Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.
Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.
Love is an essential. Love is the most important thing for a relationship. There's no "maybe" about love; you should know if you love someone. You enjoy sharing with each other anything and everything, you respect and trust each other, you're always honest with each other, you enjoy spending time and having special moments with each other, the good times outnumber the bad times, you're there for each other, you have great conversations, you're close on almost every level possible, you can balance the time you spend together and the time you spend apart, you can balance the time you do have together on emotional activities and conversations with the physical activities and conversations. You would do anything for each other and protect each other, you're kind to each other and show affection, and you spend time out of choice, not dependency.
Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love for granted, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.
See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One's worry is the other's, because both will be affected by it.
WarningsA relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. It should make your life better. If your life feels trying, upsetting, and worrisome, and even more so when you spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it may be time to reassess.
Infatuation generally lasts for 2 years as studies show. Keep this in mind, and if your relationship manages to be 2 years or more, then chances are you two have something that is more than skin deep.
Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.
Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other's point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don't want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner's innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.
Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.
Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.
Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.
Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.
Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.
Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically), resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don't involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.
Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.
Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.
Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.
Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.
Love is an essential. Love is the most important thing for a relationship. There's no "maybe" about love; you should know if you love someone. You enjoy sharing with each other anything and everything, you respect and trust each other, you're always honest with each other, you enjoy spending time and having special moments with each other, the good times outnumber the bad times, you're there for each other, you have great conversations, you're close on almost every level possible, you can balance the time you spend together and the time you spend apart, you can balance the time you do have together on emotional activities and conversations with the physical activities and conversations. You would do anything for each other and protect each other, you're kind to each other and show affection, and you spend time out of choice, not dependency.
Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love for granted, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.
See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One's worry is the other's, because both will be affected by it.
WarningsA relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. It should make your life better. If your life feels trying, upsetting, and worrisome, and even more so when you spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it may be time to reassess.
Infatuation generally lasts for 2 years as studies show. Keep this in mind, and if your relationship manages to be 2 years or more, then chances are you two have something that is more than skin deep.
How to Develop a Good Relationship with Your Boss
How to Develop a Good Relationship with Your Boss
A good relationship with your boss can make all the difference to how you feel about your job. A supportive, approachable boss is able to get the best out of their team – you feel like you can talk to them about a problem you have, ask for a morning off to go to a school play or that they will listen to your reasons for wanting a pay rise at your annual review.
Let’s look at some different ways to build a good relationship with your boss and how to maintain it – without looking like teachers’ pet.
1 Work Hard
– OK, this may seem like a simple one but it is very rare that the worst performer in a team gets on well with the boss, or certainly not for long.
2 Arrive on Time
– again, this is pretty obvious, but don’t forget that however well you perform in your job, if you are late all the time, or even some of the time, you wont be taken seriously.
3 Have Good Ideas
– in meetings, whether it be about the Christmas party or a new marketing strategy, make sure you have something to say. Meetings are not just a break from your desk and a chance to have free sandwiches.
4 Don’t Gossip
– if your boss considers you to be one of the team that spends more time hanging around the water cooler than actually working, they are unlikely to be your biggest fan.
5 Be Prepared
– if you attend a client visit or presentation with your boss, make sure you have your laptop loaded with a copy of the presentation, have back ups printed and have the client’s phone number in your mobile in case of hold ups.
6 Dress Like You Mean Business
– this does not mean wear a full-on power suit if you work in a primary school, but at least dress suitably to your role. It is too easy to get complacent and not iron your top or letting your suit jacket get a bit too ‘eau de pub’.
7 Take an Interest
– this goes for personal and professional details You don’t want to look like a creep by bringing your boss flowers for their birthday, but at least ask about their children, holiday or dinner parties if they tell you about them. When there is a project meeting, ask how it went.
A good relationship with your boss can make all the difference to how you feel about your job. A supportive, approachable boss is able to get the best out of their team – you feel like you can talk to them about a problem you have, ask for a morning off to go to a school play or that they will listen to your reasons for wanting a pay rise at your annual review.
Let’s look at some different ways to build a good relationship with your boss and how to maintain it – without looking like teachers’ pet.
1 Work Hard
– OK, this may seem like a simple one but it is very rare that the worst performer in a team gets on well with the boss, or certainly not for long.
2 Arrive on Time
– again, this is pretty obvious, but don’t forget that however well you perform in your job, if you are late all the time, or even some of the time, you wont be taken seriously.
3 Have Good Ideas
– in meetings, whether it be about the Christmas party or a new marketing strategy, make sure you have something to say. Meetings are not just a break from your desk and a chance to have free sandwiches.
4 Don’t Gossip
– if your boss considers you to be one of the team that spends more time hanging around the water cooler than actually working, they are unlikely to be your biggest fan.
5 Be Prepared
– if you attend a client visit or presentation with your boss, make sure you have your laptop loaded with a copy of the presentation, have back ups printed and have the client’s phone number in your mobile in case of hold ups.
6 Dress Like You Mean Business
– this does not mean wear a full-on power suit if you work in a primary school, but at least dress suitably to your role. It is too easy to get complacent and not iron your top or letting your suit jacket get a bit too ‘eau de pub’.
7 Take an Interest
– this goes for personal and professional details You don’t want to look like a creep by bringing your boss flowers for their birthday, but at least ask about their children, holiday or dinner parties if they tell you about them. When there is a project meeting, ask how it went.
Below are tips to endear you to your customers and friends to ensure their loyalty.
Below are tips to endear you to your customers and friends to ensure their loyalty.
1. Send Thank You Notes.
You would be surprised at how effective a simple thank you note can have in a relationship the impact it can make. It only takes a few moments and a few cents to write a short Thank You note, but what an everlasting impression your thoughtfulness can make by showing your customers, clients, and friends that they mean so much to you, that you want to take the time to acknowledge them! By nature we all like to be appreciated for what we do. When we tell someone that we appreciate the kind, efficient, or honest things they have done, we can effectively reinforce that behavior while making them feel great about who they are and how they act. (This can really be a great reinforcement of a behavior you like seeing in your kids!)
2.Make Thank You Calls
These should not take the place of the written "Thank You" but isn't it nice to receive a phone call unexpectedly, out of the blue from someone saying, "Thank You" for something? Any "Thank You" is appreciated but it's even more powerful to thank others unexpectedly.
3 Send samples.
This would apply mostly to businesses I guess, but if you can, try to send a sample of one of your products as a gift. Again, this is something so unexpected that it would be perceived as a pleasant, thoughtful surprise of great value. If you don't have a sample, you could just include something you think they would enjoy with a note saying, "thought you might enjoy this." That is something you could do for anyone and it would be considered a very thoughtful gesture because it is. It takes a little effort, but the rewards are great and lasting.
4 Send Birthday Cards
Who doesn't like to be remembered on their birthday? How about doing something really easy and send a birthday card to your friends and customers. Of course you'd have to find out when your customer's birthday is but if you've had a lengthy relationship with them, you should try to find that out. You could even go the extra mile and send a little gift with it. It wouldn't have to be much, maybe a "special offer" coupon or maybe free tickets to an event. Just a thought. Say something like, "I wanted to be one of the first to wish you a happy birthday and to offer you this special gift (or discount) for this special occasion.
5 Send Holiday Cards
Are your customers and friends worth a couple of bucks to you? That is about all it would cost (along with couple minutes of your time) to personalized a classy holiday card with a sentiment of appreciation, address it and toss it in the mail. You would be amazed at the impact that can make! If you really want to stand out from the crowd of all the other cards that might be coming in to that person, or business, send a Thanksgiving card and send it even a little early. That way you will be way ahead of the pack and they will have more time to soak in your message. Thanksgiving is a time of expressing thanks for friendships, associations, etc. Also, you don't have to worry about any cultural differences. Anyone would appreciate a Thanksgiving card. It would definitely be a memorable experience.
1. Send Thank You Notes.
You would be surprised at how effective a simple thank you note can have in a relationship the impact it can make. It only takes a few moments and a few cents to write a short Thank You note, but what an everlasting impression your thoughtfulness can make by showing your customers, clients, and friends that they mean so much to you, that you want to take the time to acknowledge them! By nature we all like to be appreciated for what we do. When we tell someone that we appreciate the kind, efficient, or honest things they have done, we can effectively reinforce that behavior while making them feel great about who they are and how they act. (This can really be a great reinforcement of a behavior you like seeing in your kids!)
2.Make Thank You Calls
These should not take the place of the written "Thank You" but isn't it nice to receive a phone call unexpectedly, out of the blue from someone saying, "Thank You" for something? Any "Thank You" is appreciated but it's even more powerful to thank others unexpectedly.
3 Send samples.
This would apply mostly to businesses I guess, but if you can, try to send a sample of one of your products as a gift. Again, this is something so unexpected that it would be perceived as a pleasant, thoughtful surprise of great value. If you don't have a sample, you could just include something you think they would enjoy with a note saying, "thought you might enjoy this." That is something you could do for anyone and it would be considered a very thoughtful gesture because it is. It takes a little effort, but the rewards are great and lasting.
4 Send Birthday Cards
Who doesn't like to be remembered on their birthday? How about doing something really easy and send a birthday card to your friends and customers. Of course you'd have to find out when your customer's birthday is but if you've had a lengthy relationship with them, you should try to find that out. You could even go the extra mile and send a little gift with it. It wouldn't have to be much, maybe a "special offer" coupon or maybe free tickets to an event. Just a thought. Say something like, "I wanted to be one of the first to wish you a happy birthday and to offer you this special gift (or discount) for this special occasion.
5 Send Holiday Cards
Are your customers and friends worth a couple of bucks to you? That is about all it would cost (along with couple minutes of your time) to personalized a classy holiday card with a sentiment of appreciation, address it and toss it in the mail. You would be amazed at the impact that can make! If you really want to stand out from the crowd of all the other cards that might be coming in to that person, or business, send a Thanksgiving card and send it even a little early. That way you will be way ahead of the pack and they will have more time to soak in your message. Thanksgiving is a time of expressing thanks for friendships, associations, etc. Also, you don't have to worry about any cultural differences. Anyone would appreciate a Thanksgiving card. It would definitely be a memorable experience.
Managing your customer relationships
Managing your customer relationships
customersAs a small business owner, you know that if you don’t provide superb service to your customer, you cannot grow your business. Your customers are your lifeblood: without them, you wouldn’t be here so you must nurture and care for each and every one of them. Right?
Yes. And no. On the yes side, there is no question that businesses today live or die by customer service. E-commerce has served to underscore the value of above-and-beyond service, with companies like Amazon setting such exceptional standards that it’s difficult for customers who’ve shopped there to accept anything less from other businesses.
On the no side of the scale, great customer service alone is not sufficient to retain customers and build business: to achieve these, service needs to be entwined with a commitment to customer relationship management (CRM).
One of the first and most difficult things you must accept when you embrace CRM is that all customers are not created equal, and therefore cannot be given the same level of attention. You must identify your most valuable customers, then assign your resources to servicing them and building strong relationships with them. This does not mean that you ignore, or dump, lower-value customers: it simply means that you channel finite resources into areas that provide maximum long-term return.
So What Is CRM?
Robert Wayland says in his book Customer Connections: “Customer relationships are assets that should be evaluated and managed as rigorously as any financial assets.”
CRM is simply a way of selling products or services by building individual relationships with each customer and each prospect, on a foundation of mutual trust, emotional support, privacy protection and tolerance for other relationships.
Relationship management is not flogging off product-line extensions, over-surveying customers, buying new customers with fabulous deals, discounts and lead-ins, irritating them with an endless stream of junk mail or telemarketing calls. CRM shifts the company focus away from being purely product-centred. “Get the order at any cost” morphs into “How can I help my customer?”
Through CRM, you encourage customers to continue purchasing from you in the future - without the old-fashioned ‘hard sell’. Perhaps even more importantly, you transform them into referral-generating advocates for your business. This is where the trust factor comes in. What’s the first step you take when you need a stockbroker, a health-care provider, or a plumber? You ask people you know for recommendations - because you trust your friends to give you reliable information.
In today’s sophisticated marketplace comprised of educated, informed, sceptical consumers, CRM is the only way to sell. However, it’s important to stress that creating loyal relationships with customers can never compensate for weaknesses in other areas of your business. So before implementing CRM, check that your organisation’s infrastructure is sound: that the products or services you offer meet customer needs, that your sales and distribution channels are up to scratch.
customersAs a small business owner, you know that if you don’t provide superb service to your customer, you cannot grow your business. Your customers are your lifeblood: without them, you wouldn’t be here so you must nurture and care for each and every one of them. Right?
Yes. And no. On the yes side, there is no question that businesses today live or die by customer service. E-commerce has served to underscore the value of above-and-beyond service, with companies like Amazon setting such exceptional standards that it’s difficult for customers who’ve shopped there to accept anything less from other businesses.
On the no side of the scale, great customer service alone is not sufficient to retain customers and build business: to achieve these, service needs to be entwined with a commitment to customer relationship management (CRM).
One of the first and most difficult things you must accept when you embrace CRM is that all customers are not created equal, and therefore cannot be given the same level of attention. You must identify your most valuable customers, then assign your resources to servicing them and building strong relationships with them. This does not mean that you ignore, or dump, lower-value customers: it simply means that you channel finite resources into areas that provide maximum long-term return.
So What Is CRM?
Robert Wayland says in his book Customer Connections: “Customer relationships are assets that should be evaluated and managed as rigorously as any financial assets.”
CRM is simply a way of selling products or services by building individual relationships with each customer and each prospect, on a foundation of mutual trust, emotional support, privacy protection and tolerance for other relationships.
Relationship management is not flogging off product-line extensions, over-surveying customers, buying new customers with fabulous deals, discounts and lead-ins, irritating them with an endless stream of junk mail or telemarketing calls. CRM shifts the company focus away from being purely product-centred. “Get the order at any cost” morphs into “How can I help my customer?”
Through CRM, you encourage customers to continue purchasing from you in the future - without the old-fashioned ‘hard sell’. Perhaps even more importantly, you transform them into referral-generating advocates for your business. This is where the trust factor comes in. What’s the first step you take when you need a stockbroker, a health-care provider, or a plumber? You ask people you know for recommendations - because you trust your friends to give you reliable information.
In today’s sophisticated marketplace comprised of educated, informed, sceptical consumers, CRM is the only way to sell. However, it’s important to stress that creating loyal relationships with customers can never compensate for weaknesses in other areas of your business. So before implementing CRM, check that your organisation’s infrastructure is sound: that the products or services you offer meet customer needs, that your sales and distribution channels are up to scratch.
Keeping in Touch With Your Clients Is Key
Keep Your Customers Around with Better Customer Service for Your Freelance Business
Keeping in Touch With Your Clients Is Key
There are many things which business owners can do in order to boost their business. Perhaps one of the most important steps you should take in order to not only gain clients but to keep them is to exhibit top-notch client communication. Keeping in touch with your clients is key and the following will list a few reasons why this is so.
Notifies Your Clients That Their Business Needs Are Being Met
By keeping in touch with your clients on a continual basis you are letting them know that their current business needs are being met. Even though you may be in the middle of a project, keeping them abreast of this information gives them peace of mind in knowing that an upcoming deadline will be met in time.
Contact with Clients Is Beneficial Should Job Related Changes Be Needed
It is also a good idea to maintain contact with your clients as it keeps the line of communication open should any changes be needed to the job which you are completing for your customers. In addition, this will make the customer feel comfortable in knowing that they can contact you at any time they feel it is necessary to discuss changes with you.
Earns the Respect of Your Client
Good customer service skills such as those associated with constant client contact will earn you the respect of your client. A business which maintains contact with their clients will be one which is spoken favorably of amongst the masses. This is a good way to not only gain the respect of your client but potential new customers as well.
Always Offer Top Notch Service
No matter how nice of a business owner you are or how many incentives you offer your clients, if you fail to offer top-notch services it can be the downfall to your business relationship. Therefore, another way to build a strong relationship is to ensure that the business offerings are always first rate.
Inquire About Customer Comments
Lastly, you should inquire with your customers from time to time with regard to how your business is doing overall. Ask your clients if there is anything you should consider changing to make your business more favorable to their needs. This is another way to really build a good relationship with your clients and keep them coming back for more time and time again.
Know Your Clients by Name
One of the best ways for business owners to build a strong relationship with their clients is to know them by name and address them as such whenever they contact them. A business owner who knows their client by name will make the customer feel appreciated and give them their due recognition. This will show the client that they matter to the owner and are good customers overall. It is also a good idea for the employees of the business to familiarize themselves with the clients and acknowledge them by name as well since employees are an extension of the business owner and the business itself.
Make Conversation with Your Clients
Keeping in Touch With Your Clients Is Key
There are many things which business owners can do in order to boost their business. Perhaps one of the most important steps you should take in order to not only gain clients but to keep them is to exhibit top-notch client communication. Keeping in touch with your clients is key and the following will list a few reasons why this is so.
Notifies Your Clients That Their Business Needs Are Being Met
By keeping in touch with your clients on a continual basis you are letting them know that their current business needs are being met. Even though you may be in the middle of a project, keeping them abreast of this information gives them peace of mind in knowing that an upcoming deadline will be met in time.
Contact with Clients Is Beneficial Should Job Related Changes Be Needed
It is also a good idea to maintain contact with your clients as it keeps the line of communication open should any changes be needed to the job which you are completing for your customers. In addition, this will make the customer feel comfortable in knowing that they can contact you at any time they feel it is necessary to discuss changes with you.
Earns the Respect of Your Client
Good customer service skills such as those associated with constant client contact will earn you the respect of your client. A business which maintains contact with their clients will be one which is spoken favorably of amongst the masses. This is a good way to not only gain the respect of your client but potential new customers as well.
Always Offer Top Notch Service
No matter how nice of a business owner you are or how many incentives you offer your clients, if you fail to offer top-notch services it can be the downfall to your business relationship. Therefore, another way to build a strong relationship is to ensure that the business offerings are always first rate.
Inquire About Customer Comments
Lastly, you should inquire with your customers from time to time with regard to how your business is doing overall. Ask your clients if there is anything you should consider changing to make your business more favorable to their needs. This is another way to really build a good relationship with your clients and keep them coming back for more time and time again.
Know Your Clients by Name
One of the best ways for business owners to build a strong relationship with their clients is to know them by name and address them as such whenever they contact them. A business owner who knows their client by name will make the customer feel appreciated and give them their due recognition. This will show the client that they matter to the owner and are good customers overall. It is also a good idea for the employees of the business to familiarize themselves with the clients and acknowledge them by name as well since employees are an extension of the business owner and the business itself.
Make Conversation with Your Clients
How to Have a Godly Centered Dating Relationship
How to Have a Godly Centered Dating Relationship
Steps
Know the ideal match for you. Date someone that you would consider marrying. Choose a person that has a similar desire for God, one that will build you up in your faith. If you are already in a relationship, positively encourage one another in pursuing God. Help your boyfriend or girlfriend to keep God the focus.
Remember that God’s Love is the ultimate. Keep in mind that the love God has for you means you do not have to seek fulfillment in how anyone makes you feel (the weakness of human love). Realize that the most perfect love comes from God, and it is always yours. He will do much more to fill the love-space than a person ever could. Approach your dating relationship knowing that God likes you and loves you, and there is plenty room for wonders of love, marriage and building your own family, of course. (Christians: Always remember He sent His son, Jesus, to die for your sins.) Make sure you are strong in your loving relationship with God. This means knowing that He is always there to help you along the way. Trust Him. Make God the most important in your life. Make Him the love of your life.
Pray. Pray about your dating relationship. Give everything over to God. Let God know that you are asking His approval. Talk to God about the problems that arise. Thank Him for the opportunity to be in a relationship and the happy times you experience. You can also pray with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is a good way to help each other out with whatever stresses life brings. By praying together, you are experiencing God together. I would be very careful in doing this, though. The time you spend in prayer with the other person may bring you closer to them, but not necessarily closer to God. It could make the focus more about you two building intimacy. I would suggest each of you seeking after God and then being careful in what you divulge with each other.
1. Talk about God. Make an effort to bring God into your conversations. Not only will it help in keeping God on your minds, you will also find out about each other’s beliefs. Talking about a spiritual subject changes normal conversation into one of eternal significance. Discussing God also allows you to build up each other’s knowledge and confidence.
2. Read the Bible. Keeping God’s words in your heart helps you to remember the love and promises He has for you. Try reading the Bible together. It is fun, spiritual and good for conversation. Different verses will help you along the way in your relationship.
3. Get involved with Church. Make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend and you are active in the body of Christ. You will feel good about sharing God’s love. He calls us to serve Him. Find a bible study. Love on people. Find a church where you can be involved together.
4. Be careful with physical affection. Hugs are great. God created physical affection to be good. But be careful in how much physical permission you give one another. A relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly. Everyone is different. But if you feel guilty at all for actions, it may be good indication that you are going too far. Avoid physical actions that might cause lustful thoughts. Save sex for marriage. Talk about your physical actions with each other, making sure you are both comfortable and feeling great. Remember, you might have to explain actions to your future spouse if you do not marry the guy or girl you are currently dating.
5. Show Christ’s love to each other. Make sacrifices for each other. Watch a chick flick. Go to a basketball game. Do not judge. Be willing to serve one another. Caress your girlfriend’s hair or even massage your boyfriend’s feet. Put one another above yourselves. Place their needs above your own. Find how to show love to each other. Use the love God has shown you and bring it to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
6. Pursue the Fruits of the Spirit. Strive to maintain the traits of godliness. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, meekness, etc. This will work to relieve the relationship of worldly troubles.
7. Have Fun and Praise God. Smile and know that God is with you. Enjoy the life that God has given the both of you. Whenever you get the chance, praise God for whatever He has poured into your life. Trust and know that God has your back. He wants what is best for the both of you.
8. Cherish your own personal God time. Make sure you spend time alone with God. You need moments of reading the Bible, journaling or praying just between you and God. Since God is your ultimate lover, it is good to have that alone time with Him.
9. Keep in mind the reality that God is real. While having a special someone can bring great happiness in this world, realizing the eternally wonderful nature of God’s love is something you do not want to miss. God is real. His love is real. God is love. Realize that God is working in your life right now. His forgiveness is real and His promises are real. Give the love God has given you to your boyfriend or girlfriend. God’s love is perfect. Let Christ’s love reign in your dating relationship. Let the love you have for each other be a banner to the world displaying God’s goodness.
Steps
Know the ideal match for you. Date someone that you would consider marrying. Choose a person that has a similar desire for God, one that will build you up in your faith. If you are already in a relationship, positively encourage one another in pursuing God. Help your boyfriend or girlfriend to keep God the focus.
Remember that God’s Love is the ultimate. Keep in mind that the love God has for you means you do not have to seek fulfillment in how anyone makes you feel (the weakness of human love). Realize that the most perfect love comes from God, and it is always yours. He will do much more to fill the love-space than a person ever could. Approach your dating relationship knowing that God likes you and loves you, and there is plenty room for wonders of love, marriage and building your own family, of course. (Christians: Always remember He sent His son, Jesus, to die for your sins.) Make sure you are strong in your loving relationship with God. This means knowing that He is always there to help you along the way. Trust Him. Make God the most important in your life. Make Him the love of your life.
Pray. Pray about your dating relationship. Give everything over to God. Let God know that you are asking His approval. Talk to God about the problems that arise. Thank Him for the opportunity to be in a relationship and the happy times you experience. You can also pray with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is a good way to help each other out with whatever stresses life brings. By praying together, you are experiencing God together. I would be very careful in doing this, though. The time you spend in prayer with the other person may bring you closer to them, but not necessarily closer to God. It could make the focus more about you two building intimacy. I would suggest each of you seeking after God and then being careful in what you divulge with each other.
1. Talk about God. Make an effort to bring God into your conversations. Not only will it help in keeping God on your minds, you will also find out about each other’s beliefs. Talking about a spiritual subject changes normal conversation into one of eternal significance. Discussing God also allows you to build up each other’s knowledge and confidence.
2. Read the Bible. Keeping God’s words in your heart helps you to remember the love and promises He has for you. Try reading the Bible together. It is fun, spiritual and good for conversation. Different verses will help you along the way in your relationship.
3. Get involved with Church. Make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend and you are active in the body of Christ. You will feel good about sharing God’s love. He calls us to serve Him. Find a bible study. Love on people. Find a church where you can be involved together.
4. Be careful with physical affection. Hugs are great. God created physical affection to be good. But be careful in how much physical permission you give one another. A relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly. Everyone is different. But if you feel guilty at all for actions, it may be good indication that you are going too far. Avoid physical actions that might cause lustful thoughts. Save sex for marriage. Talk about your physical actions with each other, making sure you are both comfortable and feeling great. Remember, you might have to explain actions to your future spouse if you do not marry the guy or girl you are currently dating.
5. Show Christ’s love to each other. Make sacrifices for each other. Watch a chick flick. Go to a basketball game. Do not judge. Be willing to serve one another. Caress your girlfriend’s hair or even massage your boyfriend’s feet. Put one another above yourselves. Place their needs above your own. Find how to show love to each other. Use the love God has shown you and bring it to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
6. Pursue the Fruits of the Spirit. Strive to maintain the traits of godliness. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, meekness, etc. This will work to relieve the relationship of worldly troubles.
7. Have Fun and Praise God. Smile and know that God is with you. Enjoy the life that God has given the both of you. Whenever you get the chance, praise God for whatever He has poured into your life. Trust and know that God has your back. He wants what is best for the both of you.
8. Cherish your own personal God time. Make sure you spend time alone with God. You need moments of reading the Bible, journaling or praying just between you and God. Since God is your ultimate lover, it is good to have that alone time with Him.
9. Keep in mind the reality that God is real. While having a special someone can bring great happiness in this world, realizing the eternally wonderful nature of God’s love is something you do not want to miss. God is real. His love is real. God is love. Realize that God is working in your life right now. His forgiveness is real and His promises are real. Give the love God has given you to your boyfriend or girlfriend. God’s love is perfect. Let Christ’s love reign in your dating relationship. Let the love you have for each other be a banner to the world displaying God’s goodness.
5 Tips For Turning A Good Relationship Into A Great Relationship
5 Tips For Turning A Good Relationship Into A Great Relationship
1. Commit to telling the total truth.
A relationship involves three essential components. You, your partner and the truth. Every time you hold something back from your partner, a piece of the passion in your relationship dies.
2. Astound your partner with your generosity.
Relationships work best when you ask yourself what you can give to your partner, rather than working out what you can get.
3. Take responsibility for feeling deeply loved.
Accept that it's your job to educate your partner about what makes you feel most loved. Love your partner how they want to be loved, not how you want to be loved.
4. Make loving each other a priority.
At some point in the day, ideally last thing at night, take the time to tell your partner exactly what you loved most about having them in your life.
5. Walk away when you get nasty.
Most of us get a little nasty when we feel backed into a corner. Come up with a plan that allows either one of you to walk away from a row when you catch yourselves saying things you'll regret.
1. Commit to telling the total truth.
A relationship involves three essential components. You, your partner and the truth. Every time you hold something back from your partner, a piece of the passion in your relationship dies.
2. Astound your partner with your generosity.
Relationships work best when you ask yourself what you can give to your partner, rather than working out what you can get.
3. Take responsibility for feeling deeply loved.
Accept that it's your job to educate your partner about what makes you feel most loved. Love your partner how they want to be loved, not how you want to be loved.
4. Make loving each other a priority.
At some point in the day, ideally last thing at night, take the time to tell your partner exactly what you loved most about having them in your life.
5. Walk away when you get nasty.
Most of us get a little nasty when we feel backed into a corner. Come up with a plan that allows either one of you to walk away from a row when you catch yourselves saying things you'll regret.
When it comes to the journey of a relationship
When it comes to the journey of a relationship, most of us take leaps instead of logical steps. It is common in new relationships to follow your heart more than your mind. Though this is not a bad thing it can often blind us to the truth of who a person really is. We so often get caught up in how good they look we don't look at how ugly they can act. We pay so much attention to how good they treat us as they are trying to win us over. We never notice clues to their character.
That would be the first step for a good relationship. Paying attention from the beginning. Another step we all know is communication. Learn to communicate early so you won't be focusing on communication when things get rough. You will already have built a foundation on great communication so it will be easier to talk about issues when they do arise.
Don't exhaust all the romance. It's romantic period getting to know someone. As your relationship grows throw in some romantic gestures every once in awhile. No need to go overboard in the beginning. If it is spanned out the romance will seem to never die. That also helps to keep the relationship interesting and the two of you will have started a tradition together. Believe it or not a lot of couples don't continue to date and do things romantic together after the fire has dimmed and the kids have come. We discuss some great romantic ideas, even recipes, on our Relationship Rescue website.
Since you are thinking with your head as well as your heart you will be able to grab a sense on how trustworthy this person may be. Pay attention now so later you won't be saying to yourself "I never thought they would do this to me". Remember there are always clues into a persons character from the time you meet them. If you want to have a good relationship. Set yourself up from the beginning. Don't wait until things go sour and decide to ask what are the steps to a good relationship. We share wonderful discussions on steps to a good relationship as well as signs of a bad one, so please come join the discussion and learn more!
That would be the first step for a good relationship. Paying attention from the beginning. Another step we all know is communication. Learn to communicate early so you won't be focusing on communication when things get rough. You will already have built a foundation on great communication so it will be easier to talk about issues when they do arise.
Don't exhaust all the romance. It's romantic period getting to know someone. As your relationship grows throw in some romantic gestures every once in awhile. No need to go overboard in the beginning. If it is spanned out the romance will seem to never die. That also helps to keep the relationship interesting and the two of you will have started a tradition together. Believe it or not a lot of couples don't continue to date and do things romantic together after the fire has dimmed and the kids have come. We discuss some great romantic ideas, even recipes, on our Relationship Rescue website.
Since you are thinking with your head as well as your heart you will be able to grab a sense on how trustworthy this person may be. Pay attention now so later you won't be saying to yourself "I never thought they would do this to me". Remember there are always clues into a persons character from the time you meet them. If you want to have a good relationship. Set yourself up from the beginning. Don't wait until things go sour and decide to ask what are the steps to a good relationship. We share wonderful discussions on steps to a good relationship as well as signs of a bad one, so please come join the discussion and learn more!
The big problem with finding good relationship advice
The big problem with finding good relationship advice is that it is nearly all written by women for women. Men often ask themselves if they speak the same language as their girlfriend. They often get into trouble simply because they do not understand her and fail to react as she would like them to. You men must understand certain ground rules if you are to succeed with women.
When your girlfriend isn't talking to you, ask yourself what you have done to upset her. Most men stop talking when they have nothing further to say, but women use their silence as a punishment.
If she is in a difficult mood it is not always because of her periods, so don't always assume that they are annoyed because of this; it may be you who has upset them for some reason. So when things are difficult don't assume it is always her periods or you will likely have some trouble keeping a girlfriend
You have no doubt noticed that women love discussing their problems, but by this do not think that they are looking to you to arrange things for them. They are perfectly capable of managing themselves but they like talking, so let them talk and leave them to solve their own problems.
If you are seeking good relationship advice for men, be careful where you look. Don't go to her father to ask what is troubling as he will likely have no better idea than you. You will, however, leave him wondering what you have done to upset her as in his eyes it is you who has done something wrong and not the daughter he adores.
Women also have memories like an elephant and so don't be astonished if she remembers all the mistakes you have made over the last few months.
Communicate as much as you can with her and let her know how much you are grateful to her. Give her a hug from time to time without expecting anything else. Everybody likes to be appreciated and women particularly like to be appreciated without being expected to give you something in return.
Great Relationship Advice For Men
When you have a problem remember that you can discuss it with her as she may be able to help you solve it. If you don't and she knows about it she may distance herself emotionally as she may think you are thinking of leaving her or you are having an affair with someone else.
Long term relationships require a lot of attention and work from both the partners, but always take care where you seek good relationship advice for men.
When your girlfriend isn't talking to you, ask yourself what you have done to upset her. Most men stop talking when they have nothing further to say, but women use their silence as a punishment.
If she is in a difficult mood it is not always because of her periods, so don't always assume that they are annoyed because of this; it may be you who has upset them for some reason. So when things are difficult don't assume it is always her periods or you will likely have some trouble keeping a girlfriend
You have no doubt noticed that women love discussing their problems, but by this do not think that they are looking to you to arrange things for them. They are perfectly capable of managing themselves but they like talking, so let them talk and leave them to solve their own problems.
If you are seeking good relationship advice for men, be careful where you look. Don't go to her father to ask what is troubling as he will likely have no better idea than you. You will, however, leave him wondering what you have done to upset her as in his eyes it is you who has done something wrong and not the daughter he adores.
Women also have memories like an elephant and so don't be astonished if she remembers all the mistakes you have made over the last few months.
Communicate as much as you can with her and let her know how much you are grateful to her. Give her a hug from time to time without expecting anything else. Everybody likes to be appreciated and women particularly like to be appreciated without being expected to give you something in return.
Great Relationship Advice For Men
When you have a problem remember that you can discuss it with her as she may be able to help you solve it. If you don't and she knows about it she may distance herself emotionally as she may think you are thinking of leaving her or you are having an affair with someone else.
Long term relationships require a lot of attention and work from both the partners, but always take care where you seek good relationship advice for men.
How to get a good Relationship
How to get a good Relationship
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
How to get a good Relationship
How to get a good Relationship
Steps
1. Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Ask yourself why you weren't happy? Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames others for their unhappiness. Your life is solely under your control, with your relationship you have to take the good with the bad. You need to give as well as take.
2. Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the differences between yourself, your parents and siblings. Don't expect they agree with you on everything. Reach a mutual agreement or plan, and then committo it. If you say you're going to Have Fun on an outing, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your family, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.
3. Develop and Use Good Communication Skills to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Many people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Fine, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having healthy relationship means that, while you have your experience, and your parents and siblings have his or her experience, you love and share and learn from those experiences. And if you can't reach any kind of mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you are wrong.
4. Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. A true relationship will consist of all family members who need to equally contribute. Not only is that the only type of relationship that will work out, but it will work out in everyone's favor.
5. Tell the unarguable truth. Be Honest Without Being Harsh, be truthful to yourself and your family. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their parents/siblings. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your family never finds out about it. For any sort of relationship to work you need to have trust.
6. Forgive one another. Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past. Let Go of Painful Memories and Live in the Moment focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment and anger. Respect your family, when your family members need space, do give him or her the time and space.
7. Review your expectations. Try to Say What You Mean Without Being Mean. Be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes.
8. Here's a new definition: Responsible means having the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you or your family are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your parents or siblings, own up to it and apologize. You'll be amazed how this works
9. Appreciate Yourself and your family. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your family that you love them, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.
10. Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your parents/siblings to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your parents/siblings to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your parents/siblings to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your parents/siblings to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your family.
11. Spend some Quality Time With Your Family. No matter how busy you are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Play a sport, eat at a restaurant, watch your favorite movies together. You will feel the magic of connection that you have with each other.
12. Laugh. Not only is it true that laughter is the best medicine, but it's also true that laughter can make a great relationship. In a tedious relationship, it is hard to communicate with your parents/siblings and share humorous feelings. Not only does laughing establish a connection, it can help keep the relationship in perspective. Just enjoy life and each other!
• Know yourself and be honest with yourself and love yourself -- first! Only then can you truly appreciate and love someone else.
• Take good care of yourself. Treating yourself with respect and love is as important as respecting and loving your partner. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you're very familiar with one another.
• All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately. Respect is the key. If you have true respect for one another, then nothing can go wrong. You just have to find the right person to respect, this is the hard part.
• Ask questions, clarify, don't assume. Do not talk if your mind is not clear or full of anger. When you feel hurt, do not say "you don't love me / you never loved me" or "let's break up" or "when do you want to break up?". You will regret one day. Tell him or her you feel hurt, and ask for clarification first.
• Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Be gentle and kind. Apologize if your partner feels hurt(but don't let them make you feel bad). Apology does not mean you are bad, it only means you care. When you are full of anger, it will surely burst out of your mouth if you open it. Calm down first, then think it through, then try to talk. When your partner asks to be left alone, do not blame or criticize. Show your respect and support by give him or her the time and space to calm down and think it through first. But do not leave any unsolved problem for too long.
• Be the first to tell your partner, either positive or negative. Trust is as essential as respect. If you want your partner to trust you, trust him or her first. Letting your partner play guessing games may lead to misunderstanding and frustration. But, don't just tell him or her the issue, also talk about your plan to solve it.
• Strike while the iron is cold. Know when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
• Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
• Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust - build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicating truthfully and proactively, and always keep your words. In this way, if something happens which looks incriminating, your partner will believe you if you claim you are innocent. Past behavior predicts future actions - building a solid foundation of trust and integrity will take you far. However, ultimately your life and where it takes you is more important than your obligations to someone else. If there is trust in a relationship, you should be able to do what you want. You aren't responsible for making someone else jealous.
• Always make sure to show your partner that you appreciate him/her. Whether it's calling them to check in, say I love you, or just spend your Saturday night together. The possibilities are endless.
• Know when to say no, and know when time and space are actually constructive tools.
• It is not always a good idea to answer certain questions with absolute truth if they bring emotional harm. "Do you sometimes think about your ex?" and "do I look fat in these pants?" are both loaded questions. In a relationship, answer questions honestly, but with tact and grace. For example, "I think you have other pants that look better on you" is a helpful answer, instead of simply "they don't", or "they do make you look fat".
Steps
1. Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Ask yourself why you weren't happy? Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames others for their unhappiness. Your life is solely under your control, with your relationship you have to take the good with the bad. You need to give as well as take.
2. Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the differences between yourself, your parents and siblings. Don't expect they agree with you on everything. Reach a mutual agreement or plan, and then committo it. If you say you're going to Have Fun on an outing, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your family, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.
3. Develop and Use Good Communication Skills to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Many people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Fine, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having healthy relationship means that, while you have your experience, and your parents and siblings have his or her experience, you love and share and learn from those experiences. And if you can't reach any kind of mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you are wrong.
4. Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. A true relationship will consist of all family members who need to equally contribute. Not only is that the only type of relationship that will work out, but it will work out in everyone's favor.
5. Tell the unarguable truth. Be Honest Without Being Harsh, be truthful to yourself and your family. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their parents/siblings. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your family never finds out about it. For any sort of relationship to work you need to have trust.
6. Forgive one another. Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past. Let Go of Painful Memories and Live in the Moment focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment and anger. Respect your family, when your family members need space, do give him or her the time and space.
7. Review your expectations. Try to Say What You Mean Without Being Mean. Be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes.
8. Here's a new definition: Responsible means having the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you or your family are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your parents or siblings, own up to it and apologize. You'll be amazed how this works
9. Appreciate Yourself and your family. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your family that you love them, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.
10. Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your parents/siblings to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your parents/siblings to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your parents/siblings to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your parents/siblings to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your family.
11. Spend some Quality Time With Your Family. No matter how busy you are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Play a sport, eat at a restaurant, watch your favorite movies together. You will feel the magic of connection that you have with each other.
12. Laugh. Not only is it true that laughter is the best medicine, but it's also true that laughter can make a great relationship. In a tedious relationship, it is hard to communicate with your parents/siblings and share humorous feelings. Not only does laughing establish a connection, it can help keep the relationship in perspective. Just enjoy life and each other!
• Know yourself and be honest with yourself and love yourself -- first! Only then can you truly appreciate and love someone else.
• Take good care of yourself. Treating yourself with respect and love is as important as respecting and loving your partner. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you're very familiar with one another.
• All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately. Respect is the key. If you have true respect for one another, then nothing can go wrong. You just have to find the right person to respect, this is the hard part.
• Ask questions, clarify, don't assume. Do not talk if your mind is not clear or full of anger. When you feel hurt, do not say "you don't love me / you never loved me" or "let's break up" or "when do you want to break up?". You will regret one day. Tell him or her you feel hurt, and ask for clarification first.
• Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Be gentle and kind. Apologize if your partner feels hurt(but don't let them make you feel bad). Apology does not mean you are bad, it only means you care. When you are full of anger, it will surely burst out of your mouth if you open it. Calm down first, then think it through, then try to talk. When your partner asks to be left alone, do not blame or criticize. Show your respect and support by give him or her the time and space to calm down and think it through first. But do not leave any unsolved problem for too long.
• Be the first to tell your partner, either positive or negative. Trust is as essential as respect. If you want your partner to trust you, trust him or her first. Letting your partner play guessing games may lead to misunderstanding and frustration. But, don't just tell him or her the issue, also talk about your plan to solve it.
• Strike while the iron is cold. Know when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
• Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
• Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust - build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicating truthfully and proactively, and always keep your words. In this way, if something happens which looks incriminating, your partner will believe you if you claim you are innocent. Past behavior predicts future actions - building a solid foundation of trust and integrity will take you far. However, ultimately your life and where it takes you is more important than your obligations to someone else. If there is trust in a relationship, you should be able to do what you want. You aren't responsible for making someone else jealous.
• Always make sure to show your partner that you appreciate him/her. Whether it's calling them to check in, say I love you, or just spend your Saturday night together. The possibilities are endless.
• Know when to say no, and know when time and space are actually constructive tools.
• It is not always a good idea to answer certain questions with absolute truth if they bring emotional harm. "Do you sometimes think about your ex?" and "do I look fat in these pants?" are both loaded questions. In a relationship, answer questions honestly, but with tact and grace. For example, "I think you have other pants that look better on you" is a helpful answer, instead of simply "they don't", or "they do make you look fat".
How to Start a Relationship
How to Start a Relationship
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
2. Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
3. Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
4. Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
5. Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
6. Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
7. Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
[edit] Warnings
• Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
• If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
• To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
Get friendly.
Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
2. Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
3. Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
4. Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
5. Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
6. Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
7. Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
[edit] Warnings
• Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
• If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
• To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
How to Identify if You Are in an Abusive Relationship
How to Identify if You Are in an Abusive Relationship
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
People in abusive relationships are at risk, and if they have children, are putting the children in harm's way. If you sometimes wonder if you are in an abusive relationship, read on, for your own sake (and that of any kids involved).
Steps
- Know the warning signs:
- Blames you for his / her anger.
- There is a difference between a person having an occasional bad day, and a person consistently blaming someone else for their problems.
- Attempts to always find someone else responsible when things go wrong, or referring to him/herself as a "victim of circumstance" should raise a red flag.
- There is a difference between a person having an occasional bad day, and a person consistently blaming someone else for their problems.
- Serious drug or alcohol use or other addiction.
- Is your partner addicted to drugs, alcohol, or being in control over things? Does s/he self-medicate to try to get away from problems? Does s/he try to avoid problems instead of dealing with them? If so, your partner could be trouble.
- Is your partner addicted to drugs, alcohol, or being in control over things? Does s/he self-medicate to try to get away from problems? Does s/he try to avoid problems instead of dealing with them? If so, your partner could be trouble.
- History of violent behavior.
- Threatens others regularly.
- Insults you or calls you names.
- Trouble controlling feelings like anger.
- Tells you what to wear, what to do or how to act. Tries frequently to keep you away from friends or family. Isolation is a form of brain-washing and manipulation. S/he is trying to keep you away from people who could help you, or who could influence your opinion of this relationship.
- Attempts to move/relocate the household frequently to "start over" (it's part of removing you from your support network - i.e., friends and family).
- Threatens or intimidates you in order to get what s/he wants.
- Throws away, accidentally breaks, or causes your favorite possessions to "disappear" when you have upset him/her.
- Tires you out and makes you doubt yourself. This usually comes in the form of escalating trivial arguments into full-blown mega-fights which last hours... and hours... and hours. (this is also an effective form of mind control)
- Accuses you of "making up" problems or relationship issues to have something to worry about.
- Says hurtful things, but later swears that he/she didn't and accuses you of "having memory problems".
- If you find yourself doing things because "s/he will be angry otherwise," or "because s/he will break up with me if I don't," then this person is controlling you in an unhealthy way. From there, it's a very short step to actual emotional and/or physical abuse. See How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship.
- Blames you for his / her anger.
- Be unsparingly objective. Do any of the above sound like your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/self? If so, then:
- Talk to someone that you can trust. A sibling, a parent, an aunt or uncle, or a friend whom you knew before you got involved with him/her are the best choices.
- Plan in advance to have a safe place to go. Your safe place should be 20-30 minutes drive time away. The further away it is, the less likely the person is to follow you and confront you. If your partner does not know of this place, it is far better for all concerned.
- Read How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship.
- Talk to someone that you can trust. A sibling, a parent, an aunt or uncle, or a friend whom you knew before you got involved with him/her are the best choices.
- Keep money and your cell phone or calling card with you at all times. However - and this is very important - once you are away, do not respond to texts or phone calls from your partner (now your ex). Answer the first one briefly and firmly: "It's over. Please don't call or text any more - I won't answer. I'm sorry it's ended this way, but I am finished with this relationship, and I won't be coming back. I wish you well, but this is goodbye."
- Avoid those who are/were close to the ex. They only know his/her side of the story, and may not understand why you left abruptly. Some will mean well, but some will openly side with him/her. Therefore, keep your business private. Decline to talk about your reasons, plans, current situation, etc., with anyone who may have contact with your ex.
- Once you have begun to think of leaving, begin to discreetly and quietly gather anything of importance to you. Don't wait until the moment that you make the big choice, but go ahead and locate your important papers, spare keys, bank information, and any other item you might not want to leave behind if you live together. You can always ask your safety person to keep them for you.
- When you make the decision to go, do it. Don't talk about it, or threaten to do it. Just get your keys, purse, bag, etc., and get in your car or go and call for a ride to pick you up. If you can leave while the abusive person is away from home, all the better.
- Avoid those who are/were close to the ex. They only know his/her side of the story, and may not understand why you left abruptly. Some will mean well, but some will openly side with him/her. Therefore, keep your business private. Decline to talk about your reasons, plans, current situation, etc., with anyone who may have contact with your ex.
- Establish a code word or sign so family, friends and co-workers know when to call for help. You could say "I'm meeting with Mr. Reddy." Mr. Reddy stands for "red alert" or "something is really wrong."
Video
Related wikiHows
- How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship
- How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship
- How to Deal with Emotional Abuse
- How to Emotionally and Physically Protect Yourself
Sources and Citations
Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Identify if You Are in an Abusive Relationship. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.
How to Start a Relationship
How to Start a Relationship
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Having trouble finding a boyfriend or girlfriend who is just right for you? Want to get closer to someone? Here are some steps to follow.
Steps
- Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.
- Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.
- Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.
- Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.
- Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.
- Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.
- Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.
Warnings
- Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, then you should move on. Some people are very polite and you may not realize immediately that they aren't interested. But, given time, it should become apparent. In the meantime, take it slow, and even if you are head over heels, don't reveal this right away, at least until you are more sure they are genuinely interested in you, or they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.
- If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.
- To really get to know a person, try to delay sexual intimacy as long as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, once they have started an intimate relationship. Something that starts out hot and heavy usually burns out fast.
- Don't make out with him/her unless they are single.
Related wikiHows
- How to Get to Know Girls in Your School
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship
- How to Bring Love Into a Relationship
- How to Have a Long Term Relationship
- How to End a Relationship
- How to Avoid Student Teacher Relationships
Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Start a Relationship. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.
How To Get Any Woman To Like You Within Seconds Of Meeting Her
If you are a man who hasn't been successful in attracting women, then this article is just what you need. Seducing women is an art that takes time to master. However it seems to come natural to some men.
Take a look at the 7 powerful secrets the top seducers use and watch girls melt:
1. Don't try too hard: nothing is more unattractive than a man who begs or acts desperate. Showing her a lot of interest will ruin your chances of seducing her.
2. Be confident: many times you see average looking guys, who date gorgeous women.
What's their secret? It's self-confidence, a trait that women find very desirable. You should communicate with her in a relaxed manner, without appearing insecure and needy.
3. Don't talk too highly of yourself: being confident is one thing and coming across as arrogant is completely another. No woman likes selfish and self-absorbed men, who seem incapable of loving another human being.
4. Be a good listener: when she's talking, carefully listen to what she has to say without giving her the impression that you are bored. Make her believe that you are interested at her as a person and you are not simply trying to get her into bed.
5. Pay her a compliment: every woman loves compliments. They make her feel desirable and hopefully she will feel grateful and more attracted to you.
6. Don't hit on every girl you see: hitting on every woman you see will make you look pathetic. Carefully choose your target and make her feel flattered that you picked her.
7. Watch your body language: you want to convey confidence and masculinity. Don't have a bad posture and don't avoid eye contact, because it will make you look insecure.
I hope you got this straight into you. Go grab that lady of your choice! Good luck!
Take a look at the 7 powerful secrets the top seducers use and watch girls melt:
1. Don't try too hard: nothing is more unattractive than a man who begs or acts desperate. Showing her a lot of interest will ruin your chances of seducing her.
2. Be confident: many times you see average looking guys, who date gorgeous women.
What's their secret? It's self-confidence, a trait that women find very desirable. You should communicate with her in a relaxed manner, without appearing insecure and needy.
3. Don't talk too highly of yourself: being confident is one thing and coming across as arrogant is completely another. No woman likes selfish and self-absorbed men, who seem incapable of loving another human being.
4. Be a good listener: when she's talking, carefully listen to what she has to say without giving her the impression that you are bored. Make her believe that you are interested at her as a person and you are not simply trying to get her into bed.
5. Pay her a compliment: every woman loves compliments. They make her feel desirable and hopefully she will feel grateful and more attracted to you.
6. Don't hit on every girl you see: hitting on every woman you see will make you look pathetic. Carefully choose your target and make her feel flattered that you picked her.
7. Watch your body language: you want to convey confidence and masculinity. Don't have a bad posture and don't avoid eye contact, because it will make you look insecure.
I hope you got this straight into you. Go grab that lady of your choice! Good luck!
How To Make Her Like You
Since the beginning time, when men were dragging their knuckles on the ground, men have been chasing women. To make the process of finding and attaining that woman a little easier, the question arises, how do I make her want me?
Well, its not as difficult as you think and that is why any man can have any woman they want if they follow these simple rules:
1) Listen - When you are with her, do you listen to what she is saying? Allot of times, you don't have to say a word, just listen to what she has to say and don't make suggestions or try to fix her problem. Let her speak and if she asks for your opinion then give it.
2) Confidence - Always display confidence in how you handle yourself, how you dress, how you speak, how you walk, and how you act around her. The little things always show confidence, standing up straight, don't slouch, speak clearly and direct, make continuous eye contact while talking to her.
3) Chivalry - Prove to her that you are gentleman, don't say you are, be one! Open doors, pull out chairs, hold her hand, give her a kiss on the cheek when you meet. Its amazing how many men skip over these little things. Remember, chivalry is in the details as well as the grand gestures.
4) Needy - Do not come off as needy, this is the fastest way to run off a women. For example, don't keep bombarding her with text or phone calls, less is more. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
5) Mystery - This is the opposite of being needy, when she ask you a question try not to answer it directly. For example, when a woman ask me what I do for a living, I tell her I sale roses on the corner. It makes her laugh and keeps a mystery around me because she cant figure me out. When a woman cannot figure you out it makes you attractive.
6) Humor - this last trait fits in with keeping mystery surrounding you. Answer her questions with in a humorous tone. For example, when she ask if I have kids I tell her not in the USA. Or, when she ask how long I have been on Match.com, I tell her not long, just 10 to 12 years and I have made a couple of friends ;)
Utilize the above tips to make her want you when she is with you. The best thing about the above tips is that anyone can implement them, they don't cost a dime, and you will get better at doing them each time you utilize them. Good luck!
Well, its not as difficult as you think and that is why any man can have any woman they want if they follow these simple rules:
1) Listen - When you are with her, do you listen to what she is saying? Allot of times, you don't have to say a word, just listen to what she has to say and don't make suggestions or try to fix her problem. Let her speak and if she asks for your opinion then give it.
2) Confidence - Always display confidence in how you handle yourself, how you dress, how you speak, how you walk, and how you act around her. The little things always show confidence, standing up straight, don't slouch, speak clearly and direct, make continuous eye contact while talking to her.
3) Chivalry - Prove to her that you are gentleman, don't say you are, be one! Open doors, pull out chairs, hold her hand, give her a kiss on the cheek when you meet. Its amazing how many men skip over these little things. Remember, chivalry is in the details as well as the grand gestures.
4) Needy - Do not come off as needy, this is the fastest way to run off a women. For example, don't keep bombarding her with text or phone calls, less is more. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
5) Mystery - This is the opposite of being needy, when she ask you a question try not to answer it directly. For example, when a woman ask me what I do for a living, I tell her I sale roses on the corner. It makes her laugh and keeps a mystery around me because she cant figure me out. When a woman cannot figure you out it makes you attractive.
6) Humor - this last trait fits in with keeping mystery surrounding you. Answer her questions with in a humorous tone. For example, when she ask if I have kids I tell her not in the USA. Or, when she ask how long I have been on Match.com, I tell her not long, just 10 to 12 years and I have made a couple of friends ;)
Utilize the above tips to make her want you when she is with you. The best thing about the above tips is that anyone can implement them, they don't cost a dime, and you will get better at doing them each time you utilize them. Good luck!
How To save Your Marriage From Divorce And Heart-Break
Welcome to my page. Today, I'll be highlighting on the need to avoid divorce in your marriage and ways to saving it from wrecking.
Read On...
If you are struggling to save your marriage from divorce, then you will want to special attention to the advice we have in this article. Specifically we'll discuss how to diagnose the specific problems in the marriage, then how to take action together to solve the problems and finally, to learn to be patient with the process. After you have an understanding of all of these points, you should be able to make real progress to get your marriage back on track.
The first thing you will need to do is understand when working on saving a marriage is the underlying problem that is causing your troubles. It's easy to blame the other person at this point but the reality is that you are at least half responsible for the issues you are facing.
The key at this point is to be honest with yourself and your spouse. Is the issue a matter of trust, such as an affair, or are you having financial troubles or are you just not in love anymore? No matter what it is, be truthful and direct no matter how much pain is involved. If you don't feel you can do this directly, consider getting a counselor to help.
Once you have both communicated your feelings, then the next step will be deciding on a course of action together.
For example, if the main issue in your marriage is financial problems, then you will both need to agree to get on a budget and manage spending together. Since the main issue is that either one or both of you spends more than they make, by working together as a team you can rebuild a bond that will rekindle feelings of trust and affection. These are important building blocks to saving your marriage from divorce.
After you have identified the problem and decided on a course of action together, the last step in saving a marriage will be to have patience with the process. It is likely that your problems did not arise overnight and so they will take time to work themselves out. Along the way, there will surely be times that you will second guess the decision to stay together but the key is to persevere. You should only consider splitting up after you have both given the plan an honest effort and time to work.
Saving your marriage from divorce can be a very difficult and challenging process. However, if you can take the time to identify the problems, agree on a course of action and stay patient with the process you have a very good chance to regain the happiness you once had.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Your Relationship Coach
Abujai Joe...
Read On...
If you are struggling to save your marriage from divorce, then you will want to special attention to the advice we have in this article. Specifically we'll discuss how to diagnose the specific problems in the marriage, then how to take action together to solve the problems and finally, to learn to be patient with the process. After you have an understanding of all of these points, you should be able to make real progress to get your marriage back on track.
The first thing you will need to do is understand when working on saving a marriage is the underlying problem that is causing your troubles. It's easy to blame the other person at this point but the reality is that you are at least half responsible for the issues you are facing.
The key at this point is to be honest with yourself and your spouse. Is the issue a matter of trust, such as an affair, or are you having financial troubles or are you just not in love anymore? No matter what it is, be truthful and direct no matter how much pain is involved. If you don't feel you can do this directly, consider getting a counselor to help.
Once you have both communicated your feelings, then the next step will be deciding on a course of action together.
For example, if the main issue in your marriage is financial problems, then you will both need to agree to get on a budget and manage spending together. Since the main issue is that either one or both of you spends more than they make, by working together as a team you can rebuild a bond that will rekindle feelings of trust and affection. These are important building blocks to saving your marriage from divorce.
After you have identified the problem and decided on a course of action together, the last step in saving a marriage will be to have patience with the process. It is likely that your problems did not arise overnight and so they will take time to work themselves out. Along the way, there will surely be times that you will second guess the decision to stay together but the key is to persevere. You should only consider splitting up after you have both given the plan an honest effort and time to work.
Saving your marriage from divorce can be a very difficult and challenging process. However, if you can take the time to identify the problems, agree on a course of action and stay patient with the process you have a very good chance to regain the happiness you once had.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Your Relationship Coach
Abujai Joe...
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