Build Fearless Relationships
There are many ways we seek safe port, a place to feel protected and cared for. Many turn to relationships for this comfort. Then, an odd thing happens, the relationship itself causes fear. What makes this happen? How do we build good and fearless relationships, based on courage and good will?
It has been said that there are only two emotions, love and fear. For some of us, love is frightening, while fear feels safe. We think fear will warn us of danger... We are taught it can be dangerous to be trusting; love can make us weak. Then it's a simple step to distrust our partners, our feelings and ourselves. But this is simply the work of fear, creating confusion and lies...
It is fear that cannot be trusted; fear is a liar that undermines our basic sense of confidence, clarity and good will. It makes us prey to those who wish to control or attack us in various ways. Self-hatred, one of the main afflictions this country, is filled by fear. The original love of life, curiosity, playfulness and joy that we are born with is wiped away.
There is no place where fear manifests more directly than in relationships, where we naturally become vulnerable and afraid of rejection or loss from our partner. It is the utmost importance to learn and practice the principles of fearless relationships, and learn how to dissolve fear on the spot. As we do so, we discover where to put our trust, and become strong and safe. In this process, we are actually learning what it means to truly love.
One of the most common causes of fear in relationships is the fear of rejection of not being good enough or able to satisfy our partners or ourselves. We twist and turn ourselves into a pretzel, become someone we aren't to get the love and acceptance we crave. However, this craving is a drug, the more we get, the more we want, and ultimately, the emptier we become. But it is only the false self that demands this, the self fueled by fear. The truth is that you can never change enough or do enough to "make" someone love you. This is only the voice of fear turning the truth upside down.
No matter how much praise the false self receives, it never feels really approved of or loved. By its very nature. It constantly craves more and feels threatened regularly. The false self eats too much, makes wrong choices and refuses to face reality. When two false selves join together for a love relationship, sooner or later, they begin to wonder what is going wrong.
No matter how many times Amy’s boyfriend told her he loved her, she didn’t believe it. She needed to hear it again and again. “Why do you love me?” she kept asking. Of course this became exhausting for her boyfriend, who, feeling drained, ultimately left. Why would we keep doing this? Because we have no idea how magnificent we truly are.
http://www.onlinerelationshipcoach.blogspot.com
Two Keys to a Happy Marriage
Two Keys to a Happy Marriage
Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childbearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."
Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childbearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."
Customer relationship management
Customer relationship management has to do with any methods, policies, and procedures that are utilized by a company to provide a high level of customer care to existing clientele, orient new customers to the products and services offered by the business, and encourage general customer retention. Sometimes referred to as CRM, customer relationship management is a subject that is covered in a number of training manuals, inn house training, and continuing education seminars that are aimed at helping companies develop healthy relationships with the client base
Generally, competent customer relationship management involves providing customer assistance on a variety of levels. These levels are usually classified into three main categories, usually referred to as operational, collaborative, and analytical. Companies of just about every size will incorporate elements of each classification into the business strategy, helping to ensure an ongoing rapport with the customer base.
The operational aspects of customer relationship management involve processes that provide for direct interaction between the client and a customer care specialist. Many of these processes are time honored methods, such as on site visits with the customer, contacts by telephone, and letters and other printed matter that is exchanged between the client and the customer support staff. Today, such vital means of communication as email, audio and video conferencing, and instant messaging also provide this direct link between customer and support specialist.
Collaborative methods of customer relationship management allow for direct contact between the client and the company, but do not include the presence of customer support staff. These methods may include automated online access of the customer to his or her account information; the ability to order new products of services online, and to submit changes to account information using automated tools provided by the vendor. Generally, these tools are available for use around the clock, making it possible for a customer to manage the relationship in his or her own time.
The analytical aspect of customer relationship management has to do with the systematic analysis of customer data. This is an internal process, and does not initially involve interaction with the customer. Instead, historical data on the purchasing patterns of the customer, including which goods or services are purchased and at what intervals, is used to determine if there is some sort of new product or service that the vendor can develop and offer to the customer. Analyzing past usage of the client base in general can also help the company develop new strategies to educate existing customers about other products that may be of interest, which can translate into additional ties of loyalty between supplier and customer
http://www.onlinerelationshipcoach.blogspot.com
Generally, competent customer relationship management involves providing customer assistance on a variety of levels. These levels are usually classified into three main categories, usually referred to as operational, collaborative, and analytical. Companies of just about every size will incorporate elements of each classification into the business strategy, helping to ensure an ongoing rapport with the customer base.
The operational aspects of customer relationship management involve processes that provide for direct interaction between the client and a customer care specialist. Many of these processes are time honored methods, such as on site visits with the customer, contacts by telephone, and letters and other printed matter that is exchanged between the client and the customer support staff. Today, such vital means of communication as email, audio and video conferencing, and instant messaging also provide this direct link between customer and support specialist.
Collaborative methods of customer relationship management allow for direct contact between the client and the company, but do not include the presence of customer support staff. These methods may include automated online access of the customer to his or her account information; the ability to order new products of services online, and to submit changes to account information using automated tools provided by the vendor. Generally, these tools are available for use around the clock, making it possible for a customer to manage the relationship in his or her own time.
The analytical aspect of customer relationship management has to do with the systematic analysis of customer data. This is an internal process, and does not initially involve interaction with the customer. Instead, historical data on the purchasing patterns of the customer, including which goods or services are purchased and at what intervals, is used to determine if there is some sort of new product or service that the vendor can develop and offer to the customer. Analyzing past usage of the client base in general can also help the company develop new strategies to educate existing customers about other products that may be of interest, which can translate into additional ties of loyalty between supplier and customer
http://www.onlinerelationshipcoach.blogspot.com
Customer relationship analysis
Customer relationship analysis (CRA), sometimes termed customer relationship analytics, is the processing of data about customers and their relationship with the enterprise in order to improve the enterprise's future sales and service and lower cost. This term is generally a synonym for CRM analytics.
Customer relationship analysis can be considered a form of online analytical processing (OLAP) and may employ data mining. As Web sites have added a new and often faster way to interact with customers, the opportunity and the need to turn data collected about customers into useful information has become generally apparent. As a result, a number of software companies have developed products that do customer data analysis.
According to an article in InfoWorld, customer relationship analysis can provide customer segmentation groupings (for example, at its simplest, dividing customers into those most and least likely to repurchase a product); profitability analysis (which customers lead to the most profit over time); personalization (the ability to market to individual customers based on the data collected about them); event monitoring (for example, when a customer reaches a certain dollar volume of purchases); what-if scenarios (how likely is a customer or customer category that bought one product to buy a similar one); and predictive modeling (for example, comparing various product development plans in terms of likely future success given the customer knowledge base). Data collection and analysis are viewed as a continuing and iterative process and ideally over time business decisions are refined based on feedback from earlier analysis and consequent decisions.
Benefits of customer relationship analysis are said to lead not only to better and more productive customer relations in terms of sales and service but also to improvement in supply chain management (lower inventory and speedier delivery) and thus lower costs and more competitive pricing.
One of the major challenges implicit in customer relationship analysis is how to integrate the analytical software with existing legacy systems as well as with other new systems.
A new area of application and data collection has to do with Web site customer usage.
Customer relationship analysis can be considered a form of online analytical processing (OLAP) and may employ data mining. As Web sites have added a new and often faster way to interact with customers, the opportunity and the need to turn data collected about customers into useful information has become generally apparent. As a result, a number of software companies have developed products that do customer data analysis.
According to an article in InfoWorld, customer relationship analysis can provide customer segmentation groupings (for example, at its simplest, dividing customers into those most and least likely to repurchase a product); profitability analysis (which customers lead to the most profit over time); personalization (the ability to market to individual customers based on the data collected about them); event monitoring (for example, when a customer reaches a certain dollar volume of purchases); what-if scenarios (how likely is a customer or customer category that bought one product to buy a similar one); and predictive modeling (for example, comparing various product development plans in terms of likely future success given the customer knowledge base). Data collection and analysis are viewed as a continuing and iterative process and ideally over time business decisions are refined based on feedback from earlier analysis and consequent decisions.
Benefits of customer relationship analysis are said to lead not only to better and more productive customer relations in terms of sales and service but also to improvement in supply chain management (lower inventory and speedier delivery) and thus lower costs and more competitive pricing.
One of the major challenges implicit in customer relationship analysis is how to integrate the analytical software with existing legacy systems as well as with other new systems.
A new area of application and data collection has to do with Web site customer usage.
How To save Your Marriage From Divorce And Heart-Break
How To save Your Marriage From Divorce And Heart-Break
Welcome to my page. Today, I'll be highlighting on the need to avoid divorce in your marriage and ways to saving it from wrecking.
Read On...
If you are struggling to save your marriage from divorce, then you will want to special attention to the advice we have in this article. Specifically we'll discuss how to diagnose the specific problems in the marriage, then how to take action together to solve the problems and finally, to learn to be patient with the process. After you have an understanding of all of these points, you should be able to make real progress to get your marriage back on track.
The first thing you will need to do is understand when working on saving a marriage is the underlying problem that is causing your troubles. It's easy to blame the other person at this point but the reality is that you are at least half responsible for the issues you are facing.
The key at this point is to be honest with yourself and your spouse. Is the issue a matter of trust, such as an affair, or are you having financial troubles or are you just not in love anymore? No matter what it is, be truthful and direct no matter how much pain is involved. If you don't feel you can do this directly, consider getting a counselor to help.
Once you have both communicated your feelings, then the next step will be deciding on a course of action together.
For example, if the main issue in your marriage is financial problems, then you will both need to agree to get on a budget and manage spending together. Since the main issue is that either one or both of you spends more than they make, by working together as a team you can rebuild a bond that will rekindle feelings of trust and affection. These are important building blocks to saving your marriage from divorce.
After you have identified the problem and decided on a course of action together, the last step in saving a marriage will be to have patience with the process. It is likely that your problems did not arise overnight and so they will take time to work themselves out. Along the way, there will surely be times that you will second guess the decision to stay together but the key is to persevere. You should only consider splitting up after you have both given the plan an honest effort and time to work.
Saving your marriage from divorce can be a very difficult and challenging process. However, if you can take the time to identify the problems, agree on a course of action and stay patient with the process you have a very good chance to regain the happiness you once had.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Welcome to my page. Today, I'll be highlighting on the need to avoid divorce in your marriage and ways to saving it from wrecking.
Read On...
If you are struggling to save your marriage from divorce, then you will want to special attention to the advice we have in this article. Specifically we'll discuss how to diagnose the specific problems in the marriage, then how to take action together to solve the problems and finally, to learn to be patient with the process. After you have an understanding of all of these points, you should be able to make real progress to get your marriage back on track.
The first thing you will need to do is understand when working on saving a marriage is the underlying problem that is causing your troubles. It's easy to blame the other person at this point but the reality is that you are at least half responsible for the issues you are facing.
The key at this point is to be honest with yourself and your spouse. Is the issue a matter of trust, such as an affair, or are you having financial troubles or are you just not in love anymore? No matter what it is, be truthful and direct no matter how much pain is involved. If you don't feel you can do this directly, consider getting a counselor to help.
Once you have both communicated your feelings, then the next step will be deciding on a course of action together.
For example, if the main issue in your marriage is financial problems, then you will both need to agree to get on a budget and manage spending together. Since the main issue is that either one or both of you spends more than they make, by working together as a team you can rebuild a bond that will rekindle feelings of trust and affection. These are important building blocks to saving your marriage from divorce.
After you have identified the problem and decided on a course of action together, the last step in saving a marriage will be to have patience with the process. It is likely that your problems did not arise overnight and so they will take time to work themselves out. Along the way, there will surely be times that you will second guess the decision to stay together but the key is to persevere. You should only consider splitting up after you have both given the plan an honest effort and time to work.
Saving your marriage from divorce can be a very difficult and challenging process. However, if you can take the time to identify the problems, agree on a course of action and stay patient with the process you have a very good chance to regain the happiness you once had.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Top 10 Dating Tips
Top 10 Dating Tips
1. Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.
2. Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
3. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.
4. Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.
5. Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.
6. Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.
7. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.
8. Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.
9. Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
10. Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.
1. Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.
2. Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
3. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.
4. Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.
5. Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.
6. Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.
7. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.
8. Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.
9. Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
10. Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.
How to Stop Arguing With Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Step 1
The first and most important step is this: DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. This can cause more harm to your relationship, reputation, and children than if you kept your conversation private. Other people may not know the extent of your relationship or the circumstances and may take things the wrong way. So many things can go wrong when others enter the equation so make sure that you and your partner are alone when you feel an argument coming on.
Step 2
Gain control of the conversation. During heated moments, it's easy for voices to flair up which leads to two people yelling at each other and neither one getting their point across. As soon as you recognize this type of tension building in the conversation, you need to stop and regain control.
An easy way to do this is by saying things like:
"I don't want this to turn into a huge argument. You start by telling me your problems and I won't interrupt you. Then let me speak and let me finish without interruption"
By doing this, you have inserted reason into the equation and a logical conversation can ensue.
Step 3Recognize an end goal. There's no point in arguing when you don't even know what you're arguing about! Unfortunately, half of arguments between couples are in this situation. Your job is to approach your differences as team looking to accomplish a goal.
Once the conversation is in control, say something like:
"Obviously we're not seeing eye-to-eye. Let's just figure out a solution that works for both of us without this conversation getting out of hand."
Step 4Be willing to apologize! Even if you know you're right, sometimes it's best to sacrifice your pride for the benefit of maintaining the relationship. Particularly in an argument, if blame is being thrown back and forth then it's up to one of you to accept the fault and move on. I'm not suggesting this is easy but it's the best thing to do. By apologizing and accepting the blame (rather right or wrong), you immediately lower the defense of your partner and communication can progress.
Step 5If all else fails, step away from the situation take some time to think clearly. You can say the worst things and make the worst decisions of your life when your emotions are running high. If you are not able to gain control of the conversation, then inform your partner that you would like to walk away and continue the discussion after you gather your thoughts.
Be sure to communicate that you would like to continue the conversation at a later time but you just need time to think. You don't want to end up saying anything you regret so walk away before it's too late!
Step 6As you can see, it takes a bit of maturity to control a difficult conversations but if you want your relationship to work, you have to be willing to calmly resolve your issues and make the best decisions. Good luck and God bless!
The first and most important step is this: DO NOT ARGUE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. This can cause more harm to your relationship, reputation, and children than if you kept your conversation private. Other people may not know the extent of your relationship or the circumstances and may take things the wrong way. So many things can go wrong when others enter the equation so make sure that you and your partner are alone when you feel an argument coming on.
Step 2
Gain control of the conversation. During heated moments, it's easy for voices to flair up which leads to two people yelling at each other and neither one getting their point across. As soon as you recognize this type of tension building in the conversation, you need to stop and regain control.
An easy way to do this is by saying things like:
"I don't want this to turn into a huge argument. You start by telling me your problems and I won't interrupt you. Then let me speak and let me finish without interruption"
By doing this, you have inserted reason into the equation and a logical conversation can ensue.
Step 3Recognize an end goal. There's no point in arguing when you don't even know what you're arguing about! Unfortunately, half of arguments between couples are in this situation. Your job is to approach your differences as team looking to accomplish a goal.
Once the conversation is in control, say something like:
"Obviously we're not seeing eye-to-eye. Let's just figure out a solution that works for both of us without this conversation getting out of hand."
Step 4Be willing to apologize! Even if you know you're right, sometimes it's best to sacrifice your pride for the benefit of maintaining the relationship. Particularly in an argument, if blame is being thrown back and forth then it's up to one of you to accept the fault and move on. I'm not suggesting this is easy but it's the best thing to do. By apologizing and accepting the blame (rather right or wrong), you immediately lower the defense of your partner and communication can progress.
Step 5If all else fails, step away from the situation take some time to think clearly. You can say the worst things and make the worst decisions of your life when your emotions are running high. If you are not able to gain control of the conversation, then inform your partner that you would like to walk away and continue the discussion after you gather your thoughts.
Be sure to communicate that you would like to continue the conversation at a later time but you just need time to think. You don't want to end up saying anything you regret so walk away before it's too late!
Step 6As you can see, it takes a bit of maturity to control a difficult conversations but if you want your relationship to work, you have to be willing to calmly resolve your issues and make the best decisions. Good luck and God bless!
Qualities Of A Good Relationship
Qualities Of A Good Relationship
I think a good relationship requires being each other's best friend, and trusting one another. I think each should respect the other's opinion and that stupid arguments over stupid things are healthy, as long as they are not taken too far.
Good communication. Never being ashamed of each other for any reason. On occasion surprising your mate with a nice romantic date or evening together and telling each other I love you.
There is a lot of love and caring in the relationship. There has to be love in order for a relationship to work.
A good relationship is when your partner is more than just a partner... they should be your best friend.
A good relationship is when two lovers understand each other, they're concerned for each other and they respect one another.
A good relationship is one purely based on trust, if nothing else. Being able to be miles apart yet never worrying a minute about what they're doing. Communication at all times is so important, and most importantly, respect for each other and their need for alone time as well as together time.
Two people trusting each other fully, not being afraid to tell the other what one thinks, whether it be good or bad, and the other respecting their opinion. Being able to enjoy the same things with each other, enjoying each other, and being able to take their separate lives and smoothly combine their lifestyles into a couple's lifestyle.
Being friends first, last and always. If you have friendship as the basis of your relationship, you can get through the hard times. The second ingredient is commitment. With those two things, you can't lose.
A good relationship is two people that are not afraid to tell the other anything that may come up in the relationship. Best friends. Honesty, devotion, love, and sense of humor.
A good relationship exists when either individual has the freedom to leave but neither wants to.
I honestly think that a good relationship is one where there are no secrets. You are completely open with each other. But the biggest key is that the other person knows the worst possible thing about you and they love you even more for it. On top of that you have to have faith and trust. So that when your man goes out with an old female friend you can completely trust him and know that no matter what happens, he will always come home to you. I know it may not seem like much but as long as you have that and love, you are in a wonderful relationship.
I define a good relationship by the way you treat each other. You could hold them and run your fingers down the side of their face. Feel comfortable you know. And you can also define it with fighting. Fighting is not my favorite thing to do with my girlfriend. But it needs to be done. It's not a real relationship until you do fight.
I would have to say good communication! Equality, LOVE, not just lust, and most of all, friendship is needed. -Morning Star
For me, a good relationship is being able to open up to each other even about the simple things in life. A relationship between two people cannot grow without trust. Loving a person is not enough, because if you've got doubts building up inside then you your relationship won't work. A good relationship is also based on friendship because it is so much easier to love someone you truly know than someone you've met 5 minutes ago.
I think it is where you can trust and respect each other; when you can have passion and romance whenever and wherever you wish.
A good relationship is when the two of you can actually feel better about your relationship after an argument; it's when you can really respect each other's differences and openly discuss feelings at all times.
You have good relationship where there is compromise, honesty, sensitivity, and a feel for the needs and wants of the other person and yourself.
When the couple listens and doesn't interrupt when they're trying to work out a fight. They care for each other deeply. They share similar interests.
A good relationship is when both parties can freely express themselves with one another and to have that open connection to be able to say anything to each other. To have trust and faith in one another. Basically a honest, trusting, loving and open relationship.
A good relationship is frankness and open-minded communication between friends. It is a two-way communication without dominance and/or hypocrisy in it.
A good relationship isn't necessarily flawless, because human beings aren't flawless. It's more important that you can grow with the person you love. If you can learn and grow each day with your best friend standing by you in body and in spirit-then you have a good relationship.
When you can feel comfortable about everything together. Always being able to talk, joke. Taking your commitment seriously with one another and never taking each other for granted.
A good relationship must a give and take basis, in order for you to understand each other. Never fail to listen and understand the situation your in to. Be open minded and be ready to any obstacle that will come in you're way.
A good relationship is when both members fully trust each other and can have a blast with each other, knowing how to laugh and be there for each other.
It's something divine. Where the understanding between the two partners is mutual. No talking required, but it's something you can just feel, something special. Where you can just believe in each other, really believe. How there is a difference between saying it and actually feeling it.
I think a good relationship requires being each other's best friend, and trusting one another. I think each should respect the other's opinion and that stupid arguments over stupid things are healthy, as long as they are not taken too far.
Good communication. Never being ashamed of each other for any reason. On occasion surprising your mate with a nice romantic date or evening together and telling each other I love you.
There is a lot of love and caring in the relationship. There has to be love in order for a relationship to work.
A good relationship is when your partner is more than just a partner... they should be your best friend.
A good relationship is when two lovers understand each other, they're concerned for each other and they respect one another.
A good relationship is one purely based on trust, if nothing else. Being able to be miles apart yet never worrying a minute about what they're doing. Communication at all times is so important, and most importantly, respect for each other and their need for alone time as well as together time.
Two people trusting each other fully, not being afraid to tell the other what one thinks, whether it be good or bad, and the other respecting their opinion. Being able to enjoy the same things with each other, enjoying each other, and being able to take their separate lives and smoothly combine their lifestyles into a couple's lifestyle.
Being friends first, last and always. If you have friendship as the basis of your relationship, you can get through the hard times. The second ingredient is commitment. With those two things, you can't lose.
A good relationship is two people that are not afraid to tell the other anything that may come up in the relationship. Best friends. Honesty, devotion, love, and sense of humor.
A good relationship exists when either individual has the freedom to leave but neither wants to.
I honestly think that a good relationship is one where there are no secrets. You are completely open with each other. But the biggest key is that the other person knows the worst possible thing about you and they love you even more for it. On top of that you have to have faith and trust. So that when your man goes out with an old female friend you can completely trust him and know that no matter what happens, he will always come home to you. I know it may not seem like much but as long as you have that and love, you are in a wonderful relationship.
I define a good relationship by the way you treat each other. You could hold them and run your fingers down the side of their face. Feel comfortable you know. And you can also define it with fighting. Fighting is not my favorite thing to do with my girlfriend. But it needs to be done. It's not a real relationship until you do fight.
I would have to say good communication! Equality, LOVE, not just lust, and most of all, friendship is needed. -Morning Star
For me, a good relationship is being able to open up to each other even about the simple things in life. A relationship between two people cannot grow without trust. Loving a person is not enough, because if you've got doubts building up inside then you your relationship won't work. A good relationship is also based on friendship because it is so much easier to love someone you truly know than someone you've met 5 minutes ago.
I think it is where you can trust and respect each other; when you can have passion and romance whenever and wherever you wish.
A good relationship is when the two of you can actually feel better about your relationship after an argument; it's when you can really respect each other's differences and openly discuss feelings at all times.
You have good relationship where there is compromise, honesty, sensitivity, and a feel for the needs and wants of the other person and yourself.
When the couple listens and doesn't interrupt when they're trying to work out a fight. They care for each other deeply. They share similar interests.
A good relationship is when both parties can freely express themselves with one another and to have that open connection to be able to say anything to each other. To have trust and faith in one another. Basically a honest, trusting, loving and open relationship.
A good relationship is frankness and open-minded communication between friends. It is a two-way communication without dominance and/or hypocrisy in it.
A good relationship isn't necessarily flawless, because human beings aren't flawless. It's more important that you can grow with the person you love. If you can learn and grow each day with your best friend standing by you in body and in spirit-then you have a good relationship.
When you can feel comfortable about everything together. Always being able to talk, joke. Taking your commitment seriously with one another and never taking each other for granted.
A good relationship must a give and take basis, in order for you to understand each other. Never fail to listen and understand the situation your in to. Be open minded and be ready to any obstacle that will come in you're way.
A good relationship is when both members fully trust each other and can have a blast with each other, knowing how to laugh and be there for each other.
It's something divine. Where the understanding between the two partners is mutual. No talking required, but it's something you can just feel, something special. Where you can just believe in each other, really believe. How there is a difference between saying it and actually feeling it.
Three Qualities of a Good Relationship
Three Qualities of a Good Relationship
All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn’t be part of being in love. Loving relationships have good qualities, such as support from your partner, a willingness to communicate, a desire to compromise, and open an honest communication. When you do not have these fundamental qualities in a relationship, that relationship isn’t likely to grow, and become something that you desire.
We all turn to our loved ones for support from time to time. When your loved one does not offer you their support it may be time to look at your relationship. As we all want to nurture those that we love. We want the best in life for those that we care about. If your partner is unwilling to listen to you, and to your problems, they are not meeting your needs when you need support. Support can come in many forms, someone lending an ear, someone going out of their way to help you, or something as simple as a phone call to cheer you up. Make sure your partner gives you support when you need it.
When engaging in a relationship with another person there is always going to be things that you do not agree upon. You want to have the ability to compromise so both partners are getting their wishes met. This may mean one night you watch football, and one night your partner watches a movie you enjoy. It might mean that your partner can agree to try a dish that you enjoy cooking. In any organization with more than one person in it, there will be more than one opinion, work with your partner to see that both of you can compromise on different subjects. If someone isn’t willing to compromise, they are not willing to acknowledge your wants and desires. If they can not acknowledge your wants they are likely not emotionally developed enough for you to have your needs met.
Open and honest communication is one of the more desirable qualities you want to have in a relationship. Watch to see that your partner is not secretive, nor are they willing to tell lies to avoid certain subjects. For example, if a partner is married, and fails to tell you that, you can rightfully assume if they can lie about big things, they can lie about small things. While you may not like everything your partner may say, freedom to be honest should be there in your relationship. Likewise, you need to be open and honest with your partner; a relationship based upon false truths is not likely to be successful, because both partners do not have the correct frame of reference in the relationship.
There are many qualities that make relationships good support, compromise, and open and honest communication is just a few of these qualities that you may desire in a relationship. Engage only in relationships where both partners can openly discuss their wants and needs, this can take practice. Remember loving relationships grow and only become better, eliminate those who do not meet your needs when they continually fail to support you, will not compromise, and will not be honest. These three qualities alone will help you nurture and develop a deeper relationship with your partner.
All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn’t be part of being in love. Loving relationships have good qualities, such as support from your partner, a willingness to communicate, a desire to compromise, and open an honest communication. When you do not have these fundamental qualities in a relationship, that relationship isn’t likely to grow, and become something that you desire.
We all turn to our loved ones for support from time to time. When your loved one does not offer you their support it may be time to look at your relationship. As we all want to nurture those that we love. We want the best in life for those that we care about. If your partner is unwilling to listen to you, and to your problems, they are not meeting your needs when you need support. Support can come in many forms, someone lending an ear, someone going out of their way to help you, or something as simple as a phone call to cheer you up. Make sure your partner gives you support when you need it.
When engaging in a relationship with another person there is always going to be things that you do not agree upon. You want to have the ability to compromise so both partners are getting their wishes met. This may mean one night you watch football, and one night your partner watches a movie you enjoy. It might mean that your partner can agree to try a dish that you enjoy cooking. In any organization with more than one person in it, there will be more than one opinion, work with your partner to see that both of you can compromise on different subjects. If someone isn’t willing to compromise, they are not willing to acknowledge your wants and desires. If they can not acknowledge your wants they are likely not emotionally developed enough for you to have your needs met.
Open and honest communication is one of the more desirable qualities you want to have in a relationship. Watch to see that your partner is not secretive, nor are they willing to tell lies to avoid certain subjects. For example, if a partner is married, and fails to tell you that, you can rightfully assume if they can lie about big things, they can lie about small things. While you may not like everything your partner may say, freedom to be honest should be there in your relationship. Likewise, you need to be open and honest with your partner; a relationship based upon false truths is not likely to be successful, because both partners do not have the correct frame of reference in the relationship.
There are many qualities that make relationships good support, compromise, and open and honest communication is just a few of these qualities that you may desire in a relationship. Engage only in relationships where both partners can openly discuss their wants and needs, this can take practice. Remember loving relationships grow and only become better, eliminate those who do not meet your needs when they continually fail to support you, will not compromise, and will not be honest. These three qualities alone will help you nurture and develop a deeper relationship with your partner.
GOOD RELATIONSHIP
What do couples who describe their relationship as spectacular do differently than those who describe theirs as simply so-so? The differences are quite small, actually.
"When we look at happy couples, we see that great partnerships are not the result of hours of hard work," says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. "It's small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship." In her new book, "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great," Orbuch shares the steps you can take to a spectacular relationship.
The Best Presents for Him, Her, and Everyone Else
The Real Reasons Men Cheat
#1. Understand Each Other's Needs
"The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or physical incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration -- the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts -- that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.
#2. Show Him Some Love
Men whose partners give them affirmation -- those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved -- are twice as likely to describe themselves as happy in their relationship. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your guy to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen -- which is why men rely on that attention from their mates. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.
#3. Take 10
A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything, except for responsibilities or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners.
And knowing your partner intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on the block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.
#4. Focus on the Good
The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction."
This doesn't mean that you can't feel -- or talk about -- anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your partnership into one that is truly great.
"When we look at happy couples, we see that great partnerships are not the result of hours of hard work," says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. "It's small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship." In her new book, "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great," Orbuch shares the steps you can take to a spectacular relationship.
The Best Presents for Him, Her, and Everyone Else
The Real Reasons Men Cheat
#1. Understand Each Other's Needs
"The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or physical incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration -- the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts -- that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe you desire more affection and he craves more relaxed couple time. "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.
#2. Show Him Some Love
Men whose partners give them affirmation -- those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved -- are twice as likely to describe themselves as happy in their relationship. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your guy to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen -- which is why men rely on that attention from their mates. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.
#3. Take 10
A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything, except for responsibilities or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners.
And knowing your partner intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on the block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.
#4. Focus on the Good
The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction."
This doesn't mean that you can't feel -- or talk about -- anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your partnership into one that is truly great.
How to Make a Relationship Work
How to Make a Relationship Work
Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.
Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other's point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don't want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner's innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.
Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.
Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.
Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.
Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.
Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.
Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically), resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don't involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.
Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.
Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.
Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.
Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.
Love is an essential. Love is the most important thing for a relationship. There's no "maybe" about love; you should know if you love someone. You enjoy sharing with each other anything and everything, you respect and trust each other, you're always honest with each other, you enjoy spending time and having special moments with each other, the good times outnumber the bad times, you're there for each other, you have great conversations, you're close on almost every level possible, you can balance the time you spend together and the time you spend apart, you can balance the time you do have together on emotional activities and conversations with the physical activities and conversations. You would do anything for each other and protect each other, you're kind to each other and show affection, and you spend time out of choice, not dependency.
Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love for granted, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.
See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One's worry is the other's, because both will be affected by it.
WarningsA relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. It should make your life better. If your life feels trying, upsetting, and worrisome, and even more so when you spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it may be time to reassess.
Infatuation generally lasts for 2 years as studies show. Keep this in mind, and if your relationship manages to be 2 years or more, then chances are you two have something that is more than skin deep.
Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.
Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other's point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don't want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner's innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.
Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.
Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.
Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.
Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.
Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.
Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically), resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don't involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.
Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.
Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.
Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.
Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.
Love is an essential. Love is the most important thing for a relationship. There's no "maybe" about love; you should know if you love someone. You enjoy sharing with each other anything and everything, you respect and trust each other, you're always honest with each other, you enjoy spending time and having special moments with each other, the good times outnumber the bad times, you're there for each other, you have great conversations, you're close on almost every level possible, you can balance the time you spend together and the time you spend apart, you can balance the time you do have together on emotional activities and conversations with the physical activities and conversations. You would do anything for each other and protect each other, you're kind to each other and show affection, and you spend time out of choice, not dependency.
Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love for granted, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.
See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One's worry is the other's, because both will be affected by it.
WarningsA relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat, and positive. It should make your life better. If your life feels trying, upsetting, and worrisome, and even more so when you spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it may be time to reassess.
Infatuation generally lasts for 2 years as studies show. Keep this in mind, and if your relationship manages to be 2 years or more, then chances are you two have something that is more than skin deep.
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