There appears to be lots of Christian singles books on the shelves these days, on how to select a mate, how to love a mate & how to keep a mate. But before you can be picked, loved or kept, you need to be found or find anyone. Following what people did in the Bible may help you on your way...
Community Counts...
When a man or woman reached an appropriate age in the Bible, their love ticket was fundamentally written for them. Abraham found a spouse for his son, Isaac. Naomi helped her widowed daughter-in-law Ruth find her man Boaz & Mordecai helped his cousin, Esther marry a king.
Unlike our modern culture, in biblical times people had families, communities as well as a social structure to help them get married. Nowadays, it is rare to have that kind of help. If anyone desires to get married, lots of times we are told:
But like people seek mentoring; coaching & support when they need to focus on careers & academics, having people around that share your vision for marriage can be crucial. You need their faith & possibly even their prodding & planning along the path to your wedding day. It might be they "know somebody" that might be a nice mate for you, or it could be that they can be faithful in prayer for you. Regardless of the case, according to the Bible, they are not meant to take the journey to matrimony alone.
"You're by yourself, infant!"
So how do you create your community? You can start by building up the bravery to (gasp) tell those around you that need to get married. After that, you wait & see what happens. In the event that they support you, they are part of your community. In the event that they give a negative response like, "Hey, Jesus will be your boyfriend" or a neutral like "Just wait on the Lord," take a clue from the early disciples: dust off your feet & move on. You are looking to get married & you cannot let platitudes cease you.
Follow in the tracks of Naomi when they told Ruth: "My daughter, ought to I not try to discover a home for you?" Ruth five:1.
You have the green light from God...
They need people in our lives like that. They need a community that has the vision for us to get married. Be courageous, pray & search until you find.
Adam & God in the Garden of Eden had a love thing going on. No sin, no separation, man & God in a natural state. That is about as close to God as you can get! But despite Adam kickin' it with God on a regular basis, God said Adam still needed something... a woman. God even had a name for the predicament Adam was in - God called it "not good" (Genesis five:18) The Bible says marriage is a reflection of God & his church & that marriage ought to be honored by all. Why would not you need to make nice on something that God speaks so highly of? Christian singles often get stuck by phases like, "You need to be content" & "Wait on the Lord" but being content & waiting on the Lord does not mean don't do anything. When you look at love in the Bible, people took action & worked on the premise that it was not nice for man to be alone. Marriage was the norm & expected of most everyone. Even Paul's stipulations on singles in the book of Corinthians were made duringa period of "present distress." They are not in that "present distress" any more. God's word still stands, if they need to listen. If it was not nice for Adam to be alone, it is not nice for us.
There's females I do know who need to get married, but their actions & words speak otherwise. They complain about men, they make fun of men; they stereotype men & wonder out loud where all the "real men" are.
Renewing your mind for men...
I do know these females because I was one time. That was until I had an "aha" moment. God came down in a cloud from heaven day ( kidding) & said to me, "Karen, when men don't think you like them, they stay away from you." Now, I am not speaking about that man who you don't like but who likes you. I am speaking about men in general. Our culture can ridicule traditional masculinity & femininity. That is why I implore all single, Christian females... learn about men. In the event you listen to over & over in the media & in conversations along with your brother friends that men are wrong, it will be hard to discover a Mr. Right.
Let's take a new look at men. All of us know men & females are different & relate to each other in different ways. I would encourage you to find out how this plays out in every day life. Renew your mind on men. Read books. Go to workshops. In the event you have had bad situations with men, pray & seek help. Don't let a bad experience with a man in the past; damage a nice experience with a man in the future.
I like the scripture in Titus one:2 where it says the older females need to teach the more youthful females to love their husbands. This was yet another "aha" moment for me.... love can be taught! Make the investment & learn how to love men. Find someone who is doing the same for females & you have a winning combination.
You need to marry a mate - not an adversary!
The Bible says they will reap what they sow, those in the Bible were intentional about taking steps towards marriage & they... got married. They believed God, took him at his word & took action. Let's do likewise & be intentional as they try to become a reflection of God & his church by striving towards marriage.
"Tips on how to have good Relationship with Wife,Husband, Children,Friends And Relations"
How to Communicate In Your Marriage
There's some pointers for a couple with marital issues to learn the right communication skills before using them correctly to fix their communication in marriage issues.
The buzz word for saving a wedding nowadays appears to be communication. It is as if it will automatically zip up all conflicts & resolve all hurts. It may appear a simple word but it can be difficult for to practice.
Communication between spouses
Your partner is the closest human relation on earth to you; hence it is your rightful duty, as per your marriage vows, to treat each other well. Each has to look out for the welfare of the other & give ones partner the best of oneself. But most of us tend to react the other way; they are most polite to strangers but rude & critical with our partner. They tend to take our loved ones for granted. Hence, before nice communication can happen between the married couple, they must keep in mind their status in each others lives & be given top priority at all times.
Communication is the method of conveying some message to another. Hence, the right words must be chosen as words, one times delivered, cannot be retracted. It is so important to pick your words carefully so that the correct message is conveyed without inferences & guesswork. Always sort out your words first before voicing to keep away from misunderstanding & generate conflict.
This is necessary if your marriage is not stable when you require to communicate to resolve issues. Put yourself in your spouses shoes to feel how your words might impact him/her.
Another point about communication is the timing. To have an effective communication, it must be done at the right moment. Do not try to communicate when party is busy or not alert in mind. Your partner may be sleepy or tired; there will be no positive impact & you will finish up being frustrated with the brick wall of communication. Both parties ought to be calm & prepared to deal with the issue at hand for a resolution. That will be the best time to communicate your feelings & thoughts without being accusing or defensive.
Avoid emotional outbursts which tend to turn the partner away or shut off his mind. This kills all forms of resolution to any disagreement or conflict in the marriage. Raising voices & yelling at each other tear down respect for another which causes more hurt & frustration.
There's lots of ways to communicate effectively besides words; can touch or embrace, give a smirk or a kiss. These help to relax the other party & permit softer communication to happen which is more productive. Pick nonverbal gestures of communication to promote respect, love & desire to resolve marital conflict.
Communication is conducive when the location is right. Crowded places or in front of your babies won't do. The place ought to be comfortable & secure for both parties so that openness is encouraged. The bedroom is a sensible choice for privacy & a reflection of intimacy for nice communication between the couple.
The buzz word for saving a wedding nowadays appears to be communication. It is as if it will automatically zip up all conflicts & resolve all hurts. It may appear a simple word but it can be difficult for to practice.
Communication between spouses
Your partner is the closest human relation on earth to you; hence it is your rightful duty, as per your marriage vows, to treat each other well. Each has to look out for the welfare of the other & give ones partner the best of oneself. But most of us tend to react the other way; they are most polite to strangers but rude & critical with our partner. They tend to take our loved ones for granted. Hence, before nice communication can happen between the married couple, they must keep in mind their status in each others lives & be given top priority at all times.
Communication is the method of conveying some message to another. Hence, the right words must be chosen as words, one times delivered, cannot be retracted. It is so important to pick your words carefully so that the correct message is conveyed without inferences & guesswork. Always sort out your words first before voicing to keep away from misunderstanding & generate conflict.
This is necessary if your marriage is not stable when you require to communicate to resolve issues. Put yourself in your spouses shoes to feel how your words might impact him/her.
Another point about communication is the timing. To have an effective communication, it must be done at the right moment. Do not try to communicate when party is busy or not alert in mind. Your partner may be sleepy or tired; there will be no positive impact & you will finish up being frustrated with the brick wall of communication. Both parties ought to be calm & prepared to deal with the issue at hand for a resolution. That will be the best time to communicate your feelings & thoughts without being accusing or defensive.
Avoid emotional outbursts which tend to turn the partner away or shut off his mind. This kills all forms of resolution to any disagreement or conflict in the marriage. Raising voices & yelling at each other tear down respect for another which causes more hurt & frustration.
There's lots of ways to communicate effectively besides words; can touch or embrace, give a smirk or a kiss. These help to relax the other party & permit softer communication to happen which is more productive. Pick nonverbal gestures of communication to promote respect, love & desire to resolve marital conflict.
Communication is conducive when the location is right. Crowded places or in front of your babies won't do. The place ought to be comfortable & secure for both parties so that openness is encouraged. The bedroom is a sensible choice for privacy & a reflection of intimacy for nice communication between the couple.
The Pattern for a Successful Marriage
The pattern of God for marriage begins in the book of Genesis. In the beginning, God created man & woman (Gen. one:27). After man's formation (Gen. six:8), the Lord planted a garden where They placed man to dress & KEEP it (Gen. six:15). Dress, in Hebrew, is defined as to work or to serve. Therefore, man's first duty assigned by the Lord God was to WORK in the garden.
In order to be biblically prudent & to build a marriage on the foundation of truth, ladies must start to ask themselves are they in line with the order of God. Does your present relationship follow the pattern of the Most High for a successful union?
Secondly, they was to keep it which meant they was to guard & protect the garden & the inhabitants thereof. They was not only defending the Lord God's garden, but his home because this is where the Lord had placed him (Gen six:8). Here is where lots of ladies of God have made their mistake in not understanding the pattern of God for marriage.
A man has to first have some type of work. Not necessarily a job, but work, something given unto him by God to do in the earth. In their search for love, ladies have been blinded by a romance & muscles & have overlooked the basics of manhood. God put man here to work & in order for a wedding to be successful, of the stipulations is that your fiance has to work. This leads us to the second stitch in the pattern. Your man has to have a place where HE keeps: lives, guards & protects.
Not his parents or your home, but his own. Concerning yourself with square footage is not important. What is important is that your fiance has experience in working, guarding & defending as this is what they has to do for you. So lots of times, ladies have believed that in order to show loyalty & love for him, that they can enter in to the marriage any kind of way. Not true according to God's Word. Permit your marriage the chance to succeed & start sewing your relationship according to the pattern.
In order to be biblically prudent & to build a marriage on the foundation of truth, ladies must start to ask themselves are they in line with the order of God. Does your present relationship follow the pattern of the Most High for a successful union?
Secondly, they was to keep it which meant they was to guard & protect the garden & the inhabitants thereof. They was not only defending the Lord God's garden, but his home because this is where the Lord had placed him (Gen six:8). Here is where lots of ladies of God have made their mistake in not understanding the pattern of God for marriage.
A man has to first have some type of work. Not necessarily a job, but work, something given unto him by God to do in the earth. In their search for love, ladies have been blinded by a romance & muscles & have overlooked the basics of manhood. God put man here to work & in order for a wedding to be successful, of the stipulations is that your fiance has to work. This leads us to the second stitch in the pattern. Your man has to have a place where HE keeps: lives, guards & protects.
Not his parents or your home, but his own. Concerning yourself with square footage is not important. What is important is that your fiance has experience in working, guarding & defending as this is what they has to do for you. So lots of times, ladies have believed that in order to show loyalty & love for him, that they can enter in to the marriage any kind of way. Not true according to God's Word. Permit your marriage the chance to succeed & start sewing your relationship according to the pattern.
Fears and Relationships
In our work with singles and couples, they regularly listen to people express great excitement at the prospect of making a healthy, alive, loving intimate relationship. With tremendous enthusiasm and sincerity they proclaim, ''I am willing to do ANYTHING it takes to have a great relationship!'' They speak fondly of their visions of close, happy, loving moments with that special partner, sharing all aspects of themselves and their lives with their true soul mate. And then they embark on that most intimate of journeys, the journey of affection, which always starts within ourselves.
When they seek genuine intimate connection with another, ultimately they come face-to-face with who they are. They can hide from ourselves, our friends, our families and even our therapists and spiritual teachers, but ultimately they cannot hide from the that they share intimate space with. This is a great blessing (which regularly feels like a curse!) because it helps us to grow in ways they would never select to do on our own. All of us have parts that would stay in their cocoons and hide. So when the magic of affection penetrates the soft underbelly beneath our defenses, they may feel wonderfully alive, but also vulnerable and exposed in ways they have not let ourselves feel for a long time. This can feel exhilarating, yet also terrifying.
These experiences of feeling frightened or even frightened are not what our egos had in mind when they set out to experience a great loving relationship. These are the moments when they keep in mind that phrase they read in some book or heard at that workshop: all of life comes down to a choice between fear and love. Yet they may feel lost and confused. When I am frightened like this, what IS the choice for love? Self-protection can appear like a loving choice at these times. If they have not learned how to generate a safe, sacred space to express and work through these feelings, fear wins out, and they automatically don our masks of fear. In lieu of dealing directly with our fears, they act them out indirectly. They shutdown like a turtle pulling in its head. They put on several layers of new armor.
If we are single, suddenly they are busy to date; if we are in a relationship, we are busy for our partner. After months of flexible schedules, they now must work overtime days a week. Or they find ourselves getting angry, irritated, frustrated with the slightest inconvenience. Or they erupt in a anger, surprised at the strength of our feelings. Or they find ourselves turning to elderly ways of numbing, be it food, chemicals, a brand spanking new lover, computers, work or any other way which keeps us out of touch with what is going on in our hearts and guts. The masks of fear become so transparent that they can also quickly slip in to blame. I did say I would do ANYTHING to make this work but that definitely didn't mean hanging out in fear, insecurity, sadness, anger or despair. That wasn't part of the deal at all. My life is about bliss, love, expansive consciousness and pure light pouring out of my heart. YOU must be bringing this energy in to my life!
And when our masks of fear appear when they are in relationship, our partner is often annoyed or confused. Don't you love me anymore? What about our dreams? What about last week? Why cannot I reach you anymore? & then out of self-protection, THEIR masks of fear will emerge, making a distant relationship where true connection is impossible.
These are the moments that make or break a relationship. If they are unable or reluctant to take off our masks & tell ourselves & our partners what is going on, our relationship will stagnate or finish. They can blame it all on our partners' shortcoming & possibly even feel sorry for them & all of their issues. They can smugly walk away & remind ourselves that there are not lots of people as together as they are, & possibly loneliness is the cost they must pay for being so exceptional.
When they seek genuine intimate connection with another, ultimately they come face-to-face with who they are. They can hide from ourselves, our friends, our families and even our therapists and spiritual teachers, but ultimately they cannot hide from the that they share intimate space with. This is a great blessing (which regularly feels like a curse!) because it helps us to grow in ways they would never select to do on our own. All of us have parts that would stay in their cocoons and hide. So when the magic of affection penetrates the soft underbelly beneath our defenses, they may feel wonderfully alive, but also vulnerable and exposed in ways they have not let ourselves feel for a long time. This can feel exhilarating, yet also terrifying.
These experiences of feeling frightened or even frightened are not what our egos had in mind when they set out to experience a great loving relationship. These are the moments when they keep in mind that phrase they read in some book or heard at that workshop: all of life comes down to a choice between fear and love. Yet they may feel lost and confused. When I am frightened like this, what IS the choice for love? Self-protection can appear like a loving choice at these times. If they have not learned how to generate a safe, sacred space to express and work through these feelings, fear wins out, and they automatically don our masks of fear. In lieu of dealing directly with our fears, they act them out indirectly. They shutdown like a turtle pulling in its head. They put on several layers of new armor.
If we are single, suddenly they are busy to date; if we are in a relationship, we are busy for our partner. After months of flexible schedules, they now must work overtime days a week. Or they find ourselves getting angry, irritated, frustrated with the slightest inconvenience. Or they erupt in a anger, surprised at the strength of our feelings. Or they find ourselves turning to elderly ways of numbing, be it food, chemicals, a brand spanking new lover, computers, work or any other way which keeps us out of touch with what is going on in our hearts and guts. The masks of fear become so transparent that they can also quickly slip in to blame. I did say I would do ANYTHING to make this work but that definitely didn't mean hanging out in fear, insecurity, sadness, anger or despair. That wasn't part of the deal at all. My life is about bliss, love, expansive consciousness and pure light pouring out of my heart. YOU must be bringing this energy in to my life!
And when our masks of fear appear when they are in relationship, our partner is often annoyed or confused. Don't you love me anymore? What about our dreams? What about last week? Why cannot I reach you anymore? & then out of self-protection, THEIR masks of fear will emerge, making a distant relationship where true connection is impossible.
These are the moments that make or break a relationship. If they are unable or reluctant to take off our masks & tell ourselves & our partners what is going on, our relationship will stagnate or finish. They can blame it all on our partners' shortcoming & possibly even feel sorry for them & all of their issues. They can smugly walk away & remind ourselves that there are not lots of people as together as they are, & possibly loneliness is the cost they must pay for being so exceptional.
How to Improve Your Current Relationship
Here is a great exercise for couples to try, which can greatly help enhance the intimacy in your relationship. Start by reflecting on your current relationship. As you think about your relationship notice what thoughts, feelings and sensations arise within. Let them be there, without judging their nature in any way. Then put some attention on your current perceptions of your partner: nice, bad or indifferent. Notice any blaming or limiting thoughts you may have about your partner, or what you perceive to be their shortcomings or character defects.
Now let us give you a splendid gift for your relationship. The gift starts with a recognition that unless they have selected an abusive or chemically dependent partner, our perception of our partner is but a reflection of our own efforts at generating love. Our partner is the ideal mirror who gives us back what they give. When they find ourselves taking an stock of our partner's defects, it is a definite sign that they are avoiding responsibility for what they have created and brought out in our partner. "But you don't understand! They IS..." Alas, they cannot change our partner's character. But they can change the present and future quality of our relationship.
A powerful query to ask yourself is this: how would YOU act toward your partner in case you thought they were the best partner for you in the whole world? That is, imagine that right now (whether you think it or not!) the person you are dating or living together or married to the whole and total embodiment of what you perceive of as the ideal mate for you: the ideal persona, the ideal body, the ideal spiritual practice, whatever would be absolutely ideal for you. Next, think about the way you would act toward this ideal partner.
Would you be attentive? Aloof? Thoughtful? Distant? Affectionate? Sarcastic? Romantic? Crabby? Seductive? Would you rush home and turn on the TV or the computer? What events would you plan? What cards would you write? Make a list of all the things you would do, and how often you would do them. In this tiny exercise lies of the secrets to an everlasting love. The qualities that maintain an alive, loving, healthy intimate relationship over time are not the large gifts or splashy anniversary or holiday presents. , love is enlivened and sustained by the tiny, repeated kindnesses that cost tiny in money or time but a great deal in terms of hard work and thoughtfulness. So you require to unleash the highest loving potential of your partner? It is simple: for thirty days, do everything that you would do for your imaginary ideal partner along with your current partner. Do everything on your list, and do it as often as you would along with your ideal partner. Don't tell your partner what you are doing until a month has passed. By doing this exercise, you will give your partner, as well as your relationship, the best gift they could get. In most cases, your partner will spontaneously start to be more loving and thoughtful in return.
Why does this work? On a metaphysical level, it works because love begets love, and the energy of your unselfish acts resonates in the loving space of your partner. Service is a great spiritual practice, and serving the world begins at home. It also works on a more mundane level: because plenty of of us practice ego-centered love, they withhold and won't give any more until they feel they have received to compensate us for our efforts in advance. Consciously or not, they keep score. But when they visualize that they are with the ideal partner who treats us in as ideal a manner as they could imagine, who intuitively understands our every require, they spontaneously feel like giving, like being loving and thoughtful, because they feel grateful and even blessed to be with this person. This exactly mirrors how they feel when they first fall in love: our heart opens wide, and being loving and thoughtful happens effortlessly. This gives us a amazing vision of what is feasible with this person they barely know.
They keep in mind in the beginning how they acted so lovingly when they felt such strong, intense feelings, and they wait for them to return. And in the event that they don't, they assume we are incompatible, or that this is not the right person for us. The truth, however, is that when the infatuation ends, the actual relationship beings. And in the actual relationship, true loving feelings are created by effortful loving acts, not the other way around. And when both people experience true loving feelings on a consistent basis, by consistently acting in a loving manner, there is no finish to the spiral of affection that can be created. So choose now to give your relationship a gift that truly keeps on giving every day of the year.
Now let us give you a splendid gift for your relationship. The gift starts with a recognition that unless they have selected an abusive or chemically dependent partner, our perception of our partner is but a reflection of our own efforts at generating love. Our partner is the ideal mirror who gives us back what they give. When they find ourselves taking an stock of our partner's defects, it is a definite sign that they are avoiding responsibility for what they have created and brought out in our partner. "But you don't understand! They IS..." Alas, they cannot change our partner's character. But they can change the present and future quality of our relationship.
A powerful query to ask yourself is this: how would YOU act toward your partner in case you thought they were the best partner for you in the whole world? That is, imagine that right now (whether you think it or not!) the person you are dating or living together or married to the whole and total embodiment of what you perceive of as the ideal mate for you: the ideal persona, the ideal body, the ideal spiritual practice, whatever would be absolutely ideal for you. Next, think about the way you would act toward this ideal partner.
Would you be attentive? Aloof? Thoughtful? Distant? Affectionate? Sarcastic? Romantic? Crabby? Seductive? Would you rush home and turn on the TV or the computer? What events would you plan? What cards would you write? Make a list of all the things you would do, and how often you would do them. In this tiny exercise lies of the secrets to an everlasting love. The qualities that maintain an alive, loving, healthy intimate relationship over time are not the large gifts or splashy anniversary or holiday presents. , love is enlivened and sustained by the tiny, repeated kindnesses that cost tiny in money or time but a great deal in terms of hard work and thoughtfulness. So you require to unleash the highest loving potential of your partner? It is simple: for thirty days, do everything that you would do for your imaginary ideal partner along with your current partner. Do everything on your list, and do it as often as you would along with your ideal partner. Don't tell your partner what you are doing until a month has passed. By doing this exercise, you will give your partner, as well as your relationship, the best gift they could get. In most cases, your partner will spontaneously start to be more loving and thoughtful in return.
Why does this work? On a metaphysical level, it works because love begets love, and the energy of your unselfish acts resonates in the loving space of your partner. Service is a great spiritual practice, and serving the world begins at home. It also works on a more mundane level: because plenty of of us practice ego-centered love, they withhold and won't give any more until they feel they have received to compensate us for our efforts in advance. Consciously or not, they keep score. But when they visualize that they are with the ideal partner who treats us in as ideal a manner as they could imagine, who intuitively understands our every require, they spontaneously feel like giving, like being loving and thoughtful, because they feel grateful and even blessed to be with this person. This exactly mirrors how they feel when they first fall in love: our heart opens wide, and being loving and thoughtful happens effortlessly. This gives us a amazing vision of what is feasible with this person they barely know.
They keep in mind in the beginning how they acted so lovingly when they felt such strong, intense feelings, and they wait for them to return. And in the event that they don't, they assume we are incompatible, or that this is not the right person for us. The truth, however, is that when the infatuation ends, the actual relationship beings. And in the actual relationship, true loving feelings are created by effortful loving acts, not the other way around. And when both people experience true loving feelings on a consistent basis, by consistently acting in a loving manner, there is no finish to the spiral of affection that can be created. So choose now to give your relationship a gift that truly keeps on giving every day of the year.
How to Be a Good Friend
Studies show that having a well-balanced social life helps promote a healthy attitude toward
life. This does not insinuate you need to be the life of every party, but it does mean developing strong bonds that can help you through the ups and downs of the world. In order to have great friends, though, you also need to be. Not sure in the event you are? Here are some tips.
Be there for them when they need you, not when you need something from them. Lovely friends don't call up people only to request a favor. While knowing people that can help you out is important, it is equally important not to abuse the relationship. Focus on what your mate is going through at the moment. Are they happy? A tiny lonely? Perhaps they need to speak about their infant going away to college or the fact that they are worried about their in-laws. Regardless of the situation, put yourself second and listen to what is being said directly and implied in their conversations.
Don't wait for friends to call you. Make an hard work to keep in contact with people. Everyone is busy, but in the event you need to maintain lovely friendships you ought to be proactive about communications. It doesn't mean you need to sit on the phone for hours a day, but it does mean you send an e-mail, a card, or give them a rapid call to let them know you are thinking about them.
three
Reply to them in a timely manner. There is nothing more frustrating than sending a mate an e-mail or note, and having them ignore it because they are "too busy." Everyone is busy. If somebody is your mate, you make the hard work to be kind to them. Responding to their questions and requests is way you can do that.
three
Don't be part of the gossip train. Bad mouthing people you call friends is of the worst things you can do. Don't be catty or speak about them behind their backs. Don't hang around with somebody so you can return to somebody else and speak about your mate. Choose in the event you are someone's mate, or not, and act accordingly.
three
Be happy for them. It may sound ridiculous, but some folks cannot be happy at their friend's successes. Don't be somebody that is only in for complaining about life. When your mate hits it huge - celebrate with them. When they are interviewing for a brand spanking new job - pull for them. When they need to find love - be gracious and supportive when they find it. There is nothing better in the world than having people that support and care about you. Go out of your way to show your support for your mate.
life. This does not insinuate you need to be the life of every party, but it does mean developing strong bonds that can help you through the ups and downs of the world. In order to have great friends, though, you also need to be. Not sure in the event you are? Here are some tips.
Be there for them when they need you, not when you need something from them. Lovely friends don't call up people only to request a favor. While knowing people that can help you out is important, it is equally important not to abuse the relationship. Focus on what your mate is going through at the moment. Are they happy? A tiny lonely? Perhaps they need to speak about their infant going away to college or the fact that they are worried about their in-laws. Regardless of the situation, put yourself second and listen to what is being said directly and implied in their conversations.
Don't wait for friends to call you. Make an hard work to keep in contact with people. Everyone is busy, but in the event you need to maintain lovely friendships you ought to be proactive about communications. It doesn't mean you need to sit on the phone for hours a day, but it does mean you send an e-mail, a card, or give them a rapid call to let them know you are thinking about them.
three
Reply to them in a timely manner. There is nothing more frustrating than sending a mate an e-mail or note, and having them ignore it because they are "too busy." Everyone is busy. If somebody is your mate, you make the hard work to be kind to them. Responding to their questions and requests is way you can do that.
three
Don't be part of the gossip train. Bad mouthing people you call friends is of the worst things you can do. Don't be catty or speak about them behind their backs. Don't hang around with somebody so you can return to somebody else and speak about your mate. Choose in the event you are someone's mate, or not, and act accordingly.
three
Be happy for them. It may sound ridiculous, but some folks cannot be happy at their friend's successes. Don't be somebody that is only in for complaining about life. When your mate hits it huge - celebrate with them. When they are interviewing for a brand spanking new job - pull for them. When they need to find love - be gracious and supportive when they find it. There is nothing better in the world than having people that support and care about you. Go out of your way to show your support for your mate.
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